Steps forward, steps back...

we've been trying some new things as far as how we deal when Eli's impulsivity causes issues at school.

Yesterday we picked him up early for a Ped appt and he'd flooded the bathroom that day...sigh. He was upset and his teach sent him a paper to write an apology to the janitor on (good idea I think)...

I decided to try the technique the psych taught us and said we'd not talk about now, but we would later and we'd all be calm about it.

Well we did the appt (which was pretty stressful since he got a blood test, bless our Ped for being so thorough..she wants to rule out ANYTHING else that could be causing lack of focus or impluse control) and came home...and relaxed a minute or two then had the talk...

He started to get worked up like he does, and both of us pointed out that WE were not upset we only wanted to talk about what happened so we could understand...We went step by step...leading him by saying first you went into the bathroom, alone? or with a buddy? got our answers and went from there.

We got the whole story out (with remarkably little stress), and we asked HIM what might work better next time, and how he could do things differently to get a better outcome...and he seemed really receptive to that. We made some step by step very simple rules for the bathroom at school....go in, pee, pull up pants, wash hands, leave...NOTHING ELSE.

I sent these steps to his teach to get her on board...hopefully she will do so and help us help him.

It could have been a screaming fit where he sat alone in his room to "think about what he'd done" and just a month ago that is what it would have been. But I think this was so much better for his self esteem...and gets him involved in the process of behaving well and offering his own thoughts on that...

When he asks one of his myriad questions (he does this a lot when he is bored or anxious) we ask him what HE thinks instead and at first he was taken aback and said "I don't know..." but now he offers his thoughts which are very often..spot on.

It can work, I know it can...we are making progress even tho there are certainly steps back...

As an aside, on the Pediatrician visit. We knew she'd be conservative and she was but also so sweet and supportive and genuinely worried and almost sad that Eli got the diagnosis he did...she was kinda feeling what we did I think. Hadn't had as much time to work thru it. But she ordered the blood test as a first step and suggested that Concerta is one she has Rx'd and seen good results with. The next appt (next week) will likely be the one we get a scrip at. Kind of scary but we need to explore this avenue and see if help can be offered.

It's good to know tho, because of what occured with the bathroom incident that we CAN talk to him and get thru, using those techniques...and that is comforting.

Almost mid week

Yesterday's meeting with the doc went well. A lot of information was shared and I asked all my questions as did D, and my Mom even came with to ask the questions she had an offer support. We got one book in the mail already and are waiting on some others...T was so nice and bought some for us to look thru. Her way of helping us out I think, she can be so sweet sometimes.

Today E went in for his eye appt, new doc...he did tweak his scrip just a bit, but not enough really that we'd hope his troubles with writing and such to just go "poof!" oh well, I suppose that was unlikely. So we'll pick new specs out tomorrow after his physical and medication appt with Dr Bishop...

I am interested to see what she'll have to say about our wee man, and the meds we're considering. Hopefully we can find something that will have minimal side effects and help him focus and make things a bit easier for him.

PK's pick up went smoothly...she seemed very nice and her daughter is going to be over the moon with her new puppy, PK is going to be living on a nice farm in Virginia...sounds good to me, can I go to? LOL...

Still working things out logistically with Manny but he should find his people this weekend sometime. Then it's just 3 dogs...seems like not enough LOL.

The holidays are coming up way too fast for me...Thanksgiving is a mere 2 weeks and 2 days away. HOW CAN THAT BE??

oh, it be!

School Daze

Okay so "the report" is now in the hands of the school and all the folks who need it, have it. I spoke just briefly with the diagnostician and VP about it, we arranged to meet again w/ the Pysch for the school present and She Who Must Be Obeyed, on Friday next.

Apparently the wheels of school beauracracy grind slow so this is doubtless the first of many as we inch our way forward to actually helping Elias...*sheesh*.

I am glad outside of the school we can move forwards at a quicker pace. Doc final meeting Mon., Eye specialist Tues. then from there finding the person who will guide us thru the medication maze....intimidating but maybe a ray of hope for a more focused young man.

As a sad but interesting aside Elias came home and told me he had a sub because his Teacher's husband died. That is incredibly sad...he said his Teacher was crying. : ( In spite of our rocky start my heart goes out to her...I cannot even imagine losing my best friend, I hope she can heal. Elias seemed untouched but that would be because of the Asperger's...I did tell him it was a sad event, his Teacher was probably sad...and he maybe could bring her some nice flowers or something when she returns to school.

The Last T-Ball game of the season!

We made it...what a long strange trip it's been. I am proud...we stuck it out. Thru tantrums and disinterest...hopeless ineptitude at the tee,...and fumbling in the field. 9 little boys including mine, made it thru the 6 game season.

The last game was last night...rescheduled from Monday (rain out) only 7 boys showed up....the hardcore gamers...the real men. The ones that knew the game needed them, and they needed the game. Well...actually the only one's who's parents brought them but really...the former sounds so much cooler doesn't it?

They assembled and Coach made a mock up batting order...by jersey ...hey it worked! The Bears came to play today, folks...NO ONE went without a hit, most connected within an actual 3 swing/strike time frame. MOST hit it beyond the pitchers position. They ran the bases like they knew where they were going...there were SMILES on every face...no pouting, no crying, no tantrums. They were just glad to be playing baseball again. The weather was a cool mid 70's and the boys were flushed with excitement instead of heat exhaustion....it was A GAME FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS.

Then...like all great games, it ended. 3 innings...1 hour...and some very happy little boys. They had their juice bags and then, came the accolades...the rewards for a hard season spent learning to be real "baseball players". THE TROPHIES!

One by one they stepped forward...gripping those little golden men like the class acts they were...holding them up and shouting and laughing...some breaking into spontaneous dancing...it was grand. And if in the audience a few of the parents had a glint of tears in their eyes...who could blame them? For really...what brings home the essence of childhood...like watching these soon to be men...revelling in their youth, and their achievements?

Now..I bring you the photos...the last reminders of a season well spent, and a boy who took a major step towards being a man...well, at least a boy less likely to cry when he misses a ball in the field...ENJOY!

Pre game warmups...

STANDING up in the field...is recommended, Eli...

Now you're standing good...but you also have to WATCH THE BATTER...

Waiting to bat, and itchy!...the bench was about ankle deep in water so we used the grass...

You have to be coachable...

Because it pays off!

But...you also have to run to first...RUN...

A boy and his trophy (he was chanting "I won...I won" the whole time folks)

The pics here are MUCH removed from their original quality...you can click the link below to view them in a bigger size and nicer quality!

http://www.flickr.com/photos/ryngwraythbeagles/sets/72157606160750682/

Elias's favorite hobby (aside from weener-holding...more on that at another time), is "food checking". This is basically...after you have eaten, you walk around and peer intently into everyone else's bowls or plates to see what they have...then pass judgement on it (and if safe to do so...sample some). Funny one was when DH was eating some leftover stew and Eli walked up...observed then said "Daddy you eating POO-POO"...but I digress.

Today Eli finishes his PB & J and Goldfish and wanders over carrying the juicebag o the day...he peers into my bowl and says "Hmm...you like those POTSTICKERS, Mamma?"...umm...yeah I am eating potstickers...but how the HECK does he know what they are? It's not like we eat them often...I bought some for me but rarely eat them becuase the cabbage makes the house reek. Today I had a craving so I ate some...yet here's Eli master Chef knowing what they are. TV? the Internet? LMAO...who knows.

Random...kids do it well.

A toothy tale

My daughter Lily...is 5. She got her teeth early and lost them early too. Both front's were gone right when Kindergarten started. One made an appearance and only just now has the other broken thru. I can hardly recall what she looks like with teeth in front!

I cried when she lost her first tooth...I admit it. She was about to go with G-ma to preschool and it had been loose...but I didn't truly think what it meant...in the bigger scheme of things. She said "ouch!' then held it out to me...tiny, pearly, perfect...I started sobbing.

How could this happen? Where's my baby girl? She's going to be growing boobs and liking boys and giggling and getting that 'angst' stuff...IT'S OVER! I couldn't take it. My Mom took her off to school and I cleaned up that tooth and cried the entire morning.

I'm better now...she's growing up...but she's still, just 5. She still believes most of what I say is true, and still watches Dora and Diego...albeit with a condescending air. Coltish and awkward as she is now, gap toothed and knock kneed...she's a wee thing. A girl still...and I'm trying to ignore the signs I see of the young woman and just enjoy the little girl while I can!