He has Asperger's, too...

   So, its Monday. Not really any other..."oh gross its Monday." Monday's, either. It is the Monday after one of the WORST weekends my country has ever had. Children were brutally slain, by a young man...for unknown reasons. Young ones, their teachers, their Principal...their protectors in school. Slain for unknown reasons.

   In the quest to FIND reasons in really what I feel is an utterly UNreasonable situation, America is dissecting the gunman. His family, his life, his conditions, his upbringing, his experiences. That is what we do. Some people make careers out of it...profilers I think they're called. The rest of us "amateurs" just want to understand, as tho IF we understood...it would change anything. Make us feel safer. Make this make "sense". Um, no.

   Now, the "A" word is starting to make the rounds in the media, and likely as a result, at water coolers around the Nation this Monday of all Mondays. "Autism" "Asperger's"...the kid had it, didn't he? Some talking head said so, some law officer or DA or investigator or some "official" at the scene. The A word must be part of this puzzle...or indeed that one last piece that was hiding under the sofa cushion driving you insane because you cannot complete your picture without it.

   I can hear it now, first probably just whispers "Well you know my friend has a nephew that has IT...and my friend said the kid is kinda, you know...quiet and strange." Maybe there's a nod and sidelong glance to see if anyone is dissenting or worried about the tone of the convo. If there isn't, it might get more interesting mightn't it? More JUICY. "Well I don't like to say it, but I heard a lot of kids with Autism are aggressive as hell. They'll slap you or punch you if you so much as make eye contact. That is why they don't look at you. That is how you can tell someone has it...I mean besides all the other weird stuff they do. Some of them are darned smart tho, and that makes them even scarier if you ask me." So it will go on and things will descend in a more and more sordid account of what the A word is, how people with IT, act and what their futures are likely to be.

   Well, now! Ain't we a tolerant society, quick to embrace our fellow man...even if he is different. Um, No. No, we're not. I think the past elections made that ABUNDANTLY clear don't you? I think the already existent lines and walls and borders we have drawn around groups of people based on things like politics, religion, sex, gender, mental acuity, ability to "pass for normal"...makes that pretty evident. So, now people with Autism...anywhere along its vast and varied spectrum. are to be lumped in with a man who kills children. How...very "American" of us!

  I have a son on the spectrum. He is 9 now. He was diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD as a 1st Grader, outside diagnosis that we paid for when he kept having issues with impulse control and sitting still in class...and was receiving almost daily bad marks in his communicator as a result. It was a lengthy, tiring process that I won't go into here, tho it is detailed elsewhere in my blog. Needless to say the result was just as I wrote, I have a son on the Autism Spectrum.

   He is in 3rd Grade now, having done 1st twice, and just this year his social and academic limitations have gotten him the official A word on his school treatment plan. That took time to get...they do not hand the A word out like candy on Halloween. For many reasons...one likely being that as we begin to see now, once it is "out" that you have the A word, boy are you hanging yer butt out there to be kicked. Not just by the system or your peers...but apparently by the media and the water-cooler and social media crowd as well. FUN! 

   I wanted to share my son with you guys...in pictures. Because I want you folks to understand that Autism is a Spectrum...and the children and teens and young adults on it, are as varied as snowflakes. No, they do not all have amazing genius hiding under strangeness. Some are just average, some well below. No, they do not all grunt instead of speaking or use fancy flowery language at age 5. No they do not all have no concept of humor or never smile. No, they do not all rock back and forth or scratch themselves or pull their own hair when stressed or to calm. They all have SOME things in common and just as many unique to them. Just like non spectrum people a room full of A word folks can have infinite combinations of personality traits, some exaggerated to the point of caricature, others so subtle you'd have to be TOLD they were there.

 This is my son, on Monday...today. He is not wanting to get up for school.

Ah! I have managed to get him up, mostly. LOL! He always gets up, goes to the restroom, then brushes his teeth...while I lay out his clothes. Then he returns to dress and I put on his socks for him. We do it, just this way...every single morning. He likes routine...but so do a lot of us. ESPECIALLY, first thing in the morning.

















See...we made it to the breakfast table! Here he is taking his Concerta before school. It helps him concentrate and control his need to constantly be in motion. He knows what they are, how they help, and as you can see...he is a morning person...once you get him out of bed! Some A Word people can, and do...smile and show happiness and be silly too....because they are all individuals. What do you take before work? Coffee? Aspirin? Xanax? ;)

This is my son waiting to leave for school. He is watching Youtube videos. Videos of a man who works at a car dealership and makes video tours of every car they get in stock. My son loves these and they are the only thing he watches on Youtube. Violence, even of a cartoon nature...scares him. Until he turned 8, his favorite shows were Dora and Diego and Spongebob. He still loves the sponge...but who doesn't? :) Yes, some A Word people have special interests they indulge in to decompress. They tend to talk a lot about them and have a hard time with subject change. But in our house special interest time is structured, limited and we encourage always...participation in family chats and activities.

This is my son at a street festival we go to every year. He remembers this statue and likes to sit next to him and mug and make faces for my camera...every year. Some A Word folks...have a decent grasp on humor and can alter their facial expressions to suit that grasp. My son likes jokes, even if the more subtle one's go over his head. He can tell when I laugh at something he does it means I am happy and he likes to see me, and others happy.

This is my son with a 3 week old puppy. We raised Beagles for several years here. His gentleness with the fragile puppies was admirable...considering, A Word or no...he is still a young boy. They taught him that ALL living things can feel, be hurt, and give and receive affection if it is properly given.



This is my son with HIS Beagle. He chose her himself...and they are very happy together. He feeds her every day as part of a chore list he is responsible for. He bestows love and affection on her, often...and whenever she is in trouble with me (as Beagles often are actually lol.) she runs to him to shelter her.

This is my son with his sister...on vacation in DC. He spent a 10 day stretch with us, a long road trip...daily adventures with tons of walking and novel sounds and experiences. He rode the Metro with aplomb and soaked in the atmosphere and sweltered in the heat. He went in to art galleries and museums and behaved properly. Some A Word folks, are more than capable of managing new scenarios and experiences without meltdowns and yelling or tantrums...IF their support team/family knows how to manage and present things. There is no reason for A Word folks to have to be isolated or not experience the same things any other person would...it just has to be presented differently, and the WORLD, needs to allow that.

This is my son, loving on me. Some A Word people are VERY capable of expressing unprompted affection. If they feel safe, if they feel it will be accepted. They experiment and test it out, to see that it is not scary...that it will not be pressed upon them or that they will be ordered to give it. Affection from A Word people is a true honor because it is never faked, for politeness sake, or merely out of habit. It is real and heartfelt and it means you are very special and safe for them.

This is my son, playing car with his Daddy. Some A Word people are very capable of some form of imaginary play. Especially centered around their special interests. Note the Frisbee wheel? lol...












This is my son, wearing feathers on Thanksgiving. He helped us do the crafts and enjoyed it. Some A Word folks...enjoy being part of a safe group and doing things together. He and his sister are very close and he plays with her and trusts her not to ask too much of him.

Don't mistake any of the above for an attempt to say my son is "normal". He is not...not that any outside person would accept as such. He hums, makes beeping car noises to himself. He wrings his hands and leans side to side. He darts glances or looks past your shoulder instead of into your eyes, he touches novel flooring and interrogates rather than has conversations. He doesn't give a rip about other children or people unless they come into his space and present themselves properly. He has no idea WHAT to say when unknown people ask him to play or his opinion...unless he is given a script to follow. He has Asperger's...he IS Asperger's. But, he is also a snowflake...different from likely anyone else on Earth...like we ALL are. He does not deserve to be mentioned in the same breath with a killer, or dissected by water cooler talk, he is what he is. A loved member of a dedicated family that bears ultimate responsibility for the man he will some day become...and we understand that. Just as I hope that EVERY parent out there, understands that. Thanks for reading...and please do feel free to share this post.

The 2012 ARD Meeting

Well it was today! I had the usual butterflies going in. I know what to expect but still...going into this sort of meeting where you are not sure what's going to be said or etc can be a bit nerve wracking. My husband was able to come this time so that makes it that much easier. He's only missed one, and that was unavoidable.


For those unfamiliar, an ARD is an annual meeting REQUIRED by public schools for any child that has an IEP (basically a special learning plan designed for them due to some academic challenge or medical challenge). You go over the goals set last year, pick some for this year and next, and address any and all concerns over the child any side has. It is typically a parent, a diagnostician...any special ed teachers the child sees, the child's regular teacher, and Admin from the school. In our case, the Principal.


For all that they are a nervous time I also acknowledge that it is a pretty big deal to get to sit down once a year (or more if a parent calls for it) with all these people...in the same room, and discuss ONLY your child. That is huge and I honestly wish ALL parents could do this at LEAST once a year. I know it's pretty much impossible but still. Being able to raise a concern and have the Principal and every adult responsible for your child on a given school day...right there in front of you to discuss and talk with, is really something. They cannot hide from you, give you the run around...ignore you...foist you off etc. Not that all schools or school personnel do that...BUT..


So anyways it seems like our boy is doing about as well as he should be now. He is struggling with out of the box concepts in math and reading/writing...as to be expected with a person with Asperger's really. Speaking of that? I had in my head going in, asking for a re evaluation on him for that very thing. Right now his IEP is ONLY addressing issues with his ADHD, as he was found NOT to meet the criterion for a SCHOOL Asperger's dx last time in Kindergarten. I was wanting to re-visit that because I am seeing more of an effect of being Aspie as relates to schoolwork and such...


Turns out the wonderful Diagnostician at the school brought that up even BEFORE I had a chance! She was very frank in saying she see's more NOW than then...when he was younger and see's some of the social and academic deficits he has NOT narrowing in the way they would if he was just a "late bloomer", and so she herself suggested we try again for the dx of Asperger's. BUT, and here is where she differed from me...she wants to delay the re-assessment until next year as opposed to doing it now. 


Her reasoning was...sure right now he MIGHT pass because he DOES have some deficits...BUT if we wait a year, when he is in 3rd Grade and doing 3rd/4th grade work...those deficits will be MUCH easier to spot, harder to ignore and she WANTS him to get a "yes" this time from the Board because she thinks he can benefit from it and needs some services that would afford him. I had to think about it for a bit because my first instinct is to get him re-assessed NOW. But in the end the important thing is to GET THE DIAGNOSIS put onto his file because then it STAYS and goes with him as he moves along. If we try again, and get another "no"...well that wouldn't be so good. And bottom line right now he could not be picked out in his current class by much else from his poor writing as "special needs"...and therein is the worry about testing now. He is an average student doing average work, and struggling in some things the way other kids are.


So the decision was ours at that point and given how much his teacher is doing already and plans to maintain and ADD to this year, we agreed to wait. The assessment itself involves time out of the class and he is holding his own right now and we just don't want to mess with it or make him worry etc right now and throw that all off.


BTW his teacher is just in love with him, you could tell thru the whole thing. She talked about his little idiosyncrasies and such with such candor and amusement and tenderness that we could tell that. She is doing A LOT in the course of the day to make his experience in the classroom better, and she is using his resource time well. That made me much more comfortable waiting. One cannot stress enough the importance of a teacher willing to accept a difference and learn to work with it and most importantly not look on it as a dreaded, mandated duty or "ugh", but as something she wants to do to help a student she genuinely would like to see succeed. I am so grateful to her :)


I also am going to share that the work I did with my therapist was in force here too. I felt so different leading up to it. Butterflies and nerves but not that loin-girding...battle axe rattling momma Grizzly like RAWR facade over myself. It's hard to describe but before I did that work I felt almost like I put on a different person over the real me because the real me wasn't strong enough or assertive enough. Today I felt like it was just me...and momma bear was still there but she was behind me (just in case I needed her but it would be MY call to make), and we were working together. I hope that doesn't sound to nuts but if it does...consider the source. LMAO!


Anyways. I am happy with how things went, grateful to not be alone in this, my husband and family and my friends are all so helpful and supportive of us. I thank them each and every one!

Into 2012 we go!

Christmas and New Year's passed remarkably well here at our place. I am making some headway in dealing with my "mommy issues" and so far we've had some successful attempts to spend time together without any drama. I am hopeful on that front. I did some work just after Christmas with my therapist that was tremendously helpful. Hoping to continue that later this month.


All the Christmas gear was stowed away within a couple days of the day passing. If I don't do it then it tends to linger on way past NYE lol!


On the kiddo front, Elias's ARD meeting is next week and I am just a BIT jumpy/antsy about it. I am really torn between wanting them to RE-evaluate him for Autism and what it would mean if they did and found he was. Right now his IEP is only addressing his ADHD issues and honestly I think his Aspie stuff is more what's holding him back this year, the retention...openness to new concepts...and fine motor is just not there. I am hoping that the meeting yields a consensus on these items so we can formulate a new plan for him. So that's been giving me a couple of sleepless nights. He is doing WELL, but is still IMO behind where he should be and right now he just doesn't seem like a "3rd Grader" even with several months left. Fingers crossed.


Lily and Eli both tho, went back to school yesterday and both had a good day. Eli claims he doesn't want to go but he is truly, happier within all the structure and routine vs kinda vegetating her at home. The school's short week, tho mystifying seems to be a good "getting back into the swing of things" approach.


We are headed up north this weekend to "do Christmas" so that should hopefully be nice. At least there's always booze! LOL.

Friday, Final

Final is what this whole thing with Elias and school is. At least for the next 12 months. The ARD was today and at the end of it? A totally acceptable and indeed, comprehensive and impressive...IEP. A roadmap with visible markers, leading to his academic future. Guides to help ease him on his way, and concrete finite goals the school will be held to helping him attain.

The Holy Grail of parenting a special needs kids I am told...an IEP...and now my boy has one.

Since that comment by Elias's teacher all those months ago, this road has been very bumpy and jarring in places, and I am glad to be at the end of it. Even more glad because thanks to those jars and bumps...the NEXT time we tread down the same path as a family (and we will) we will have the shock absorber called "experience"...you feel me?

I am proud of all of us...everyone in this family pulled for Eli including Elias himself...submitting to test after test, doctor's visits, fearsome events for a six year old...but he did it. We as a family unit are stronger than we've ever been...closer it feels, and more able to deal with bad stuff that may occur.

I have to admit I do feel a bit of personal pride that comes from the fearsome Mama Bear stuff that happened with me, hoping I'll be allowed that with no crash and burn to bring me back down. That's me, always wary and watching for the other shoe to drop...no, not drop...kick me in the arse.

Positive, be positive...how's that work again?

Before I get too far into downerville I will end this, happy and grinning, feeling accomplished for once...like I've seen something thru.

Funny, that is on our whiteboard in the kitchen...it's our "Thought of the Week": FOLLOW THROUGH.

I think, I have :o)

Monday Meeting

Today was the meeting to go over the school Psych's findings on Master Elias. Young Master Elias is not getting a recommendation for an IEP relating to an Autism disorder...which actually, is fine with me and I agree with, and he IS getting one for his ADHD/ADD which I also agree with.

We went over their Autism related testing, done with a panel of 4 adults with various credentials and reading what went on, had me interested and impressed. Eli has apparently made a LOT of progress and after some (appropriate given he is a 6 y/o boy taken to a room with 4 adults he did not know at all in it) apprehension he proceeded to interact with the testers, talk with them, laugh with them and look them in the eye. he completed all but a couple tasks and did them in a "non disordered" manner. That is good news as I see it.

Now I am not saying or believing my son does NOT have some sort of small difficulty likely to be some spectrum issue...BUT I agree with the school that those minor difficulties are NOT the reason his schooling is tough right now. That is ALL the ADHD and attention based stuff...well, most of it.

Likely some Learning Disorder too, which the will also be keeping a close watch on. I made it clear that under NO circumstance do I want to be late to the party on that score. My son WILL be checked on, often and ANY LD like issues will be dealt with promptly. There simply is not a crack out there with his name on it..for him to fall into, as far as we are concerned.

I think that was made very clear by us...

The formal ARD meeting where the plan for his education for the next 12 months is going to be presented, will be on Friday and I will certainly have my thoughts on that then for you to peruse LOL.

I feel in a better place now to deal with this, largely due to the man next to me during this meeting. Hubs has been such a rock thru this once I realized it's okay to lean on him and not handle all this weirdness on my own. Why I thought that necessary to begin with is...lame. Work in progress, folks!

I am looking forward to Friday.

Did I mention my daughter brought home STRAIGHT A'S?? I am sure I did lol...but there it is again. She is such a nice breather from all this. NO everything is not easy for her...she struggles and pushes our buttons, too sometimes...but her bright nimble mind is a good reprieve, and I enjoy so much watching her blossom into a very intelligent and confident young lady who knows her stuff and has set goals for herself.

Both my kids are so very different but they love each other so completely and without reservation is it a great comfort to me. They support one another and help one another when it counts...minor squabbles aside. They are a great example of how people should ALWAYS treat one another...with love, with fun, with joy, even thru disagreements and outright wars...you always come back to common ground and rebuild your love.

Happy Monday, all!

How many acronyms...

Can we stick onto Elias? LOL.
Hmm...I might add another soon...
"LD", learning disability. Most likely...aside from the other two issues his doc suggested, after a discussion about his eye doctor visit today...that his lack of connecting what he SEES...to what he WRITES, or SAYS...is probably a Learning Disability of some type.

I can ge behind that because now that the Concerta has removed a lot of the distraction for the boy, he STILL has trouble writing especially copying...something already printed on his own, and staying within the confines of his lines or paper. Let alone making legible letters or all the same size letters.

I read a bit on "dysgraphia" and boy that does seem to be a possible. It seems there a lot that can be done for it, and he will be able to eventually learn how to make the most of what he can do, in spite of it. Which I already knew...I wouldn't let it be any other way!

So now after Xmas break I am going to grab hold of the school again and make sure they have done some LD testing in addition to the other stuff for ADHD and Aspergers and are adding that into any IEP that comes about. Mustn't let them get away too long without being called to the carpet to report! TEEHEE!!

Christmas nearly upon us I can reflect on what a bumpy end of the year it's been...but I am certainly more educated and invested in my kids, both of them as a result. I feel like I've grown as a parent and as a wife too. So that makes the bumps a lot easier to manage!

Merry Christmas all! I am saying that in case I don't get to the blog again til afterwards! :)

Tuesday was great

yesterday, Eli had what was probably his best day in a long time...

It started when I went to pick him up...no warnings...always great! Then on the way home he was really telling me about his day, unusual but so welcome. Not having to yank info out of a lil' clam is refreshing!

We got home and he was so...THERE. Polite...please and thank you...WHO IS THIS BOY? I almost think they worked on manners at school that day? He said he did not have homework then later remembered he had math to finish (cringe)...but you know what? He KNEW what he needed to do on his math and got his abacus out HIMSELF and I pretty much just sat there and watched him work...his numbers were clear and looked like his sister wrote them! I really was speechless. I guess the OT maybe has copped hold of him at school??

He asked to go to the Book Fair in such a sweet manner I could not say no. When hubs got home and we were getting ready to head down I laid out "the rules" and he said YES, M'AM. You know I was looking askance at him...again, wondering where my obstroperous lil' man went this evening?

At the Book Fair. He couldn't recall the book he wanted (it was yellow and a chapter book) but instead of flipping out...he simply said "I think I'll get a different book...this Phineas & Ferb book." Switching off a want to something else is NOT something he normally can do easily. Then, when I pointed out that he probably couldn't read the words but I'd read it to him he said so nicely "I can look at the pictures too...I like this book" (Eli hardly EVER says what he likes or doesn't and if you ask him it's "a lot of things" or "everything", just to end the convo).

We went to the cafeteria for a while so they could look over their purchases...Lily got a way cool book on critters, of course! They sat at the tables and Eli was very focused on his book pretending to read it (well looking for words he knew so really reading) proudly telling us when he'd "finished a chapter" lol! There were kids running around in there, playing this and that game.

Lily would wander off from time to time when she saw a classmate or friend (she is GOOD at this, I envy ehr I truly do) and he'd tag along behind her, she'd pat his head and roll her eyes when she intro'd him to her friends, very cute. He got onto the stage in front of the drawn curtain and kinda danced around like a goof up there...lol.

THEN...THEN ladies n gentleman it happened. A small boy he'd greeted as "Jrealnameleftoffintentionally" at the entrance came over and had a "special rock" he was showing off. We told him to show it to Eli and he basically accosted E who was trying to withdraw and showed him...they moved off a ways while Eli was trying to get over the fact that this boy was TALKING to him...then the boy came back over to us and we all looked at his rock interestedly. At that point Eli came back...and looked and the boy said "Let's play..." and Eli WENT with the boy as he tossed his little rock around and they tried to get to it first...

They were a ways down the cafeteria when I saw Eli stop and say something to the boy and other lil girl who was tagging along (she seemed very interested in Eli, must know him)..and then Eli ran off to count. He had actually suggested they play hide and seek! I mean this is SO such a big...no HUGE deal. Eli NEVER actually suggests anything to other kids and always looks a bit uncomfortable and pained when in their company. But he was smiling ear to ear...and just galomphing all OVER the place playing hide n seek. The game grew as more kids joined in and he kept smiling. The little gal actually told Eli once when he was about to go count "No! I am gonna count"...and he just let it go and went and hid with the rest! HUGE HUGE DEAL PEOPLE.

He was on the "edge" of being able to go up and speak to a child all night...you could SEE him struggling with his want to do so...and his anxiety & inability to do so...it was really so hard to watch. He even came over and asked US to play hide n seek before all this...and when we said no, he should ask a kid...he asked Lily lol. Who declined in favor of giggling with a friend...he WANTED to ask them....he just couldn't. He'd follow at a distance and kinda try out his "frolic" when they weren't looking...copying their actions...but when that boy came over and broke the ice HE JUMPED IN!!

whoo hoo!! It might've just been for that night...but it was beautiful and I hope he sees now that he CAN play with others...they DO like him because he is likeable...and he CAN suggest and lead even a tiny bit...I am so incredibly proud of him...I truly am. :)

Middlin' Monday

Dare one say so far so good? Lily and Elias are both snot factories BUT...no fever or overly scary symptoms of "you know what" so they're off to school.

Blustery cool morning and day today is on tap to balance out the just scary good weather we've had. Indian Summer? heck it was more like just plain ole Summer...you know the good part before it gets to where you wanna strangle the sun?

Today I have an I feel, much needed and welcome appt with the very nice therapist who helped us out with my other sis's healing this past Summer. I have many things to get off my chest and many things I want to ask about how I can cope better with the Eli thing...so here's to a good head-shrinking!

This weekend was busy...but not frenetic. We drove Manny (now Polo BTW) to his new people. A longish drive, but short by Tx standards at a mere 2.5 hrs. Not too much in the way of traffic, the kids behaved like road trip champs (like they are!) and the ride back was even more enjoyable.

D had a wonderful idea this weekend for Elias and his meltdowns...which BTW have become a lot less common of late (good sign I think?)...we apparently need to catch them BEFORE they reach MACH 5...and to that end D found some CandyLand cards in red and green and because verbal things tend to push him over the edge when he is teetering...we just hold up the GREEN one and he knows that means "settle down or the red card comes next". The RED card means "to your room to cool down...and we'll be in to talk".

Green card came out once and the red not at ALL this weekend I don't think. He really seems grateful to have some sort of non verbal cue to help him know when that edge is getting too close. He spent a lot more time voluntarily with us in the main room this weekend, more engaged with us...more apt to speak and conversate in a pretty normal kid way. I feel another small triumph. :) Not jumping around just yet tho because that seems to court disaster lol.

Lily had a fun project this weekend..."disguising" a Turkey (paper cut out) to hide him from Thanksgiving LOL. She went to Grandma's and decorated him up with Xmas stuff! lol...it looked SO cute! Little mini light embellishments around his fan tail and a Santa Hat on complete with jingle bell. That's an A+ project if ever I've seen one :) Thanks Grandma!

I guess I've rabbited on enough for now...this weekend was good...I hope everyone else's was as well!

Steps forward, steps back...

we've been trying some new things as far as how we deal when Eli's impulsivity causes issues at school.

Yesterday we picked him up early for a Ped appt and he'd flooded the bathroom that day...sigh. He was upset and his teach sent him a paper to write an apology to the janitor on (good idea I think)...

I decided to try the technique the psych taught us and said we'd not talk about now, but we would later and we'd all be calm about it.

Well we did the appt (which was pretty stressful since he got a blood test, bless our Ped for being so thorough..she wants to rule out ANYTHING else that could be causing lack of focus or impluse control) and came home...and relaxed a minute or two then had the talk...

He started to get worked up like he does, and both of us pointed out that WE were not upset we only wanted to talk about what happened so we could understand...We went step by step...leading him by saying first you went into the bathroom, alone? or with a buddy? got our answers and went from there.

We got the whole story out (with remarkably little stress), and we asked HIM what might work better next time, and how he could do things differently to get a better outcome...and he seemed really receptive to that. We made some step by step very simple rules for the bathroom at school....go in, pee, pull up pants, wash hands, leave...NOTHING ELSE.

I sent these steps to his teach to get her on board...hopefully she will do so and help us help him.

It could have been a screaming fit where he sat alone in his room to "think about what he'd done" and just a month ago that is what it would have been. But I think this was so much better for his self esteem...and gets him involved in the process of behaving well and offering his own thoughts on that...

When he asks one of his myriad questions (he does this a lot when he is bored or anxious) we ask him what HE thinks instead and at first he was taken aback and said "I don't know..." but now he offers his thoughts which are very often..spot on.

It can work, I know it can...we are making progress even tho there are certainly steps back...

As an aside, on the Pediatrician visit. We knew she'd be conservative and she was but also so sweet and supportive and genuinely worried and almost sad that Eli got the diagnosis he did...she was kinda feeling what we did I think. Hadn't had as much time to work thru it. But she ordered the blood test as a first step and suggested that Concerta is one she has Rx'd and seen good results with. The next appt (next week) will likely be the one we get a scrip at. Kind of scary but we need to explore this avenue and see if help can be offered.

It's good to know tho, because of what occured with the bathroom incident that we CAN talk to him and get thru, using those techniques...and that is comforting.

Almost mid week

Yesterday's meeting with the doc went well. A lot of information was shared and I asked all my questions as did D, and my Mom even came with to ask the questions she had an offer support. We got one book in the mail already and are waiting on some others...T was so nice and bought some for us to look thru. Her way of helping us out I think, she can be so sweet sometimes.

Today E went in for his eye appt, new doc...he did tweak his scrip just a bit, but not enough really that we'd hope his troubles with writing and such to just go "poof!" oh well, I suppose that was unlikely. So we'll pick new specs out tomorrow after his physical and medication appt with Dr Bishop...

I am interested to see what she'll have to say about our wee man, and the meds we're considering. Hopefully we can find something that will have minimal side effects and help him focus and make things a bit easier for him.

PK's pick up went smoothly...she seemed very nice and her daughter is going to be over the moon with her new puppy, PK is going to be living on a nice farm in Virginia...sounds good to me, can I go to? LOL...

Still working things out logistically with Manny but he should find his people this weekend sometime. Then it's just 3 dogs...seems like not enough LOL.

The holidays are coming up way too fast for me...Thanksgiving is a mere 2 weeks and 2 days away. HOW CAN THAT BE??

oh, it be!

School Daze

Okay so "the report" is now in the hands of the school and all the folks who need it, have it. I spoke just briefly with the diagnostician and VP about it, we arranged to meet again w/ the Pysch for the school present and She Who Must Be Obeyed, on Friday next.

Apparently the wheels of school beauracracy grind slow so this is doubtless the first of many as we inch our way forward to actually helping Elias...*sheesh*.

I am glad outside of the school we can move forwards at a quicker pace. Doc final meeting Mon., Eye specialist Tues. then from there finding the person who will guide us thru the medication maze....intimidating but maybe a ray of hope for a more focused young man.

As a sad but interesting aside Elias came home and told me he had a sub because his Teacher's husband died. That is incredibly sad...he said his Teacher was crying. : ( In spite of our rocky start my heart goes out to her...I cannot even imagine losing my best friend, I hope she can heal. Elias seemed untouched but that would be because of the Asperger's...I did tell him it was a sad event, his Teacher was probably sad...and he maybe could bring her some nice flowers or something when she returns to school.