yesterday, Eli had what was probably his best day in a long time...
It started when I went to pick him up...no warnings...always great! Then on the way home he was really telling me about his day, unusual but so welcome. Not having to yank info out of a lil' clam is refreshing!
We got home and he was so...THERE. Polite...please and thank you...WHO IS THIS BOY? I almost think they worked on manners at school that day? He said he did not have homework then later remembered he had math to finish (cringe)...but you know what? He KNEW what he needed to do on his math and got his abacus out HIMSELF and I pretty much just sat there and watched him work...his numbers were clear and looked like his sister wrote them! I really was speechless. I guess the OT maybe has copped hold of him at school??
He asked to go to the Book Fair in such a sweet manner I could not say no. When hubs got home and we were getting ready to head down I laid out "the rules" and he said YES, M'AM. You know I was looking askance at him...again, wondering where my obstroperous lil' man went this evening?
At the Book Fair. He couldn't recall the book he wanted (it was yellow and a chapter book) but instead of flipping out...he simply said "I think I'll get a different book...this Phineas & Ferb book." Switching off a want to something else is NOT something he normally can do easily. Then, when I pointed out that he probably couldn't read the words but I'd read it to him he said so nicely "I can look at the pictures too...I like this book" (Eli hardly EVER says what he likes or doesn't and if you ask him it's "a lot of things" or "everything", just to end the convo).
We went to the cafeteria for a while so they could look over their purchases...Lily got a way cool book on critters, of course! They sat at the tables and Eli was very focused on his book pretending to read it (well looking for words he knew so really reading) proudly telling us when he'd "finished a chapter" lol! There were kids running around in there, playing this and that game.
Lily would wander off from time to time when she saw a classmate or friend (she is GOOD at this, I envy ehr I truly do) and he'd tag along behind her, she'd pat his head and roll her eyes when she intro'd him to her friends, very cute. He got onto the stage in front of the drawn curtain and kinda danced around like a goof up there...lol.
THEN...THEN ladies n gentleman it happened. A small boy he'd greeted as "Jrealnameleftoffintentionally" at the entrance came over and had a "special rock" he was showing off. We told him to show it to Eli and he basically accosted E who was trying to withdraw and showed him...they moved off a ways while Eli was trying to get over the fact that this boy was TALKING to him...then the boy came back over to us and we all looked at his rock interestedly. At that point Eli came back...and looked and the boy said "Let's play..." and Eli WENT with the boy as he tossed his little rock around and they tried to get to it first...
They were a ways down the cafeteria when I saw Eli stop and say something to the boy and other lil girl who was tagging along (she seemed very interested in Eli, must know him)..and then Eli ran off to count. He had actually suggested they play hide and seek! I mean this is SO such a big...no HUGE deal. Eli NEVER actually suggests anything to other kids and always looks a bit uncomfortable and pained when in their company. But he was smiling ear to ear...and just galomphing all OVER the place playing hide n seek. The game grew as more kids joined in and he kept smiling. The little gal actually told Eli once when he was about to go count "No! I am gonna count"...and he just let it go and went and hid with the rest! HUGE HUGE DEAL PEOPLE.
He was on the "edge" of being able to go up and speak to a child all night...you could SEE him struggling with his want to do so...and his anxiety & inability to do so...it was really so hard to watch. He even came over and asked US to play hide n seek before all this...and when we said no, he should ask a kid...he asked Lily lol. Who declined in favor of giggling with a friend...he WANTED to ask them....he just couldn't. He'd follow at a distance and kinda try out his "frolic" when they weren't looking...copying their actions...but when that boy came over and broke the ice HE JUMPED IN!!
whoo hoo!! It might've just been for that night...but it was beautiful and I hope he sees now that he CAN play with others...they DO like him because he is likeable...and he CAN suggest and lead even a tiny bit...I am so incredibly proud of him...I truly am. :)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Monday, November 16, 2009
Middlin' Monday
Dare one say so far so good? Lily and Elias are both snot factories BUT...no fever or overly scary symptoms of "you know what" so they're off to school.
Blustery cool morning and day today is on tap to balance out the just scary good weather we've had. Indian Summer? heck it was more like just plain ole Summer...you know the good part before it gets to where you wanna strangle the sun?
Today I have an I feel, much needed and welcome appt with the very nice therapist who helped us out with my other sis's healing this past Summer. I have many things to get off my chest and many things I want to ask about how I can cope better with the Eli thing...so here's to a good head-shrinking!
This weekend was busy...but not frenetic. We drove Manny (now Polo BTW) to his new people. A longish drive, but short by Tx standards at a mere 2.5 hrs. Not too much in the way of traffic, the kids behaved like road trip champs (like they are!) and the ride back was even more enjoyable.
D had a wonderful idea this weekend for Elias and his meltdowns...which BTW have become a lot less common of late (good sign I think?)...we apparently need to catch them BEFORE they reach MACH 5...and to that end D found some CandyLand cards in red and green and because verbal things tend to push him over the edge when he is teetering...we just hold up the GREEN one and he knows that means "settle down or the red card comes next". The RED card means "to your room to cool down...and we'll be in to talk".
Green card came out once and the red not at ALL this weekend I don't think. He really seems grateful to have some sort of non verbal cue to help him know when that edge is getting too close. He spent a lot more time voluntarily with us in the main room this weekend, more engaged with us...more apt to speak and conversate in a pretty normal kid way. I feel another small triumph. :) Not jumping around just yet tho because that seems to court disaster lol.
Lily had a fun project this weekend..."disguising" a Turkey (paper cut out) to hide him from Thanksgiving LOL. She went to Grandma's and decorated him up with Xmas stuff! lol...it looked SO cute! Little mini light embellishments around his fan tail and a Santa Hat on complete with jingle bell. That's an A+ project if ever I've seen one :) Thanks Grandma!
I guess I've rabbited on enough for now...this weekend was good...I hope everyone else's was as well!
Blustery cool morning and day today is on tap to balance out the just scary good weather we've had. Indian Summer? heck it was more like just plain ole Summer...you know the good part before it gets to where you wanna strangle the sun?
Today I have an I feel, much needed and welcome appt with the very nice therapist who helped us out with my other sis's healing this past Summer. I have many things to get off my chest and many things I want to ask about how I can cope better with the Eli thing...so here's to a good head-shrinking!
This weekend was busy...but not frenetic. We drove Manny (now Polo BTW) to his new people. A longish drive, but short by Tx standards at a mere 2.5 hrs. Not too much in the way of traffic, the kids behaved like road trip champs (like they are!) and the ride back was even more enjoyable.
D had a wonderful idea this weekend for Elias and his meltdowns...which BTW have become a lot less common of late (good sign I think?)...we apparently need to catch them BEFORE they reach MACH 5...and to that end D found some CandyLand cards in red and green and because verbal things tend to push him over the edge when he is teetering...we just hold up the GREEN one and he knows that means "settle down or the red card comes next". The RED card means "to your room to cool down...and we'll be in to talk".
Green card came out once and the red not at ALL this weekend I don't think. He really seems grateful to have some sort of non verbal cue to help him know when that edge is getting too close. He spent a lot more time voluntarily with us in the main room this weekend, more engaged with us...more apt to speak and conversate in a pretty normal kid way. I feel another small triumph. :) Not jumping around just yet tho because that seems to court disaster lol.
Lily had a fun project this weekend..."disguising" a Turkey (paper cut out) to hide him from Thanksgiving LOL. She went to Grandma's and decorated him up with Xmas stuff! lol...it looked SO cute! Little mini light embellishments around his fan tail and a Santa Hat on complete with jingle bell. That's an A+ project if ever I've seen one :) Thanks Grandma!
I guess I've rabbited on enough for now...this weekend was good...I hope everyone else's was as well!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Steps forward, steps back...
we've been trying some new things as far as how we deal when Eli's impulsivity causes issues at school.
Yesterday we picked him up early for a Ped appt and he'd flooded the bathroom that day...sigh. He was upset and his teach sent him a paper to write an apology to the janitor on (good idea I think)...
I decided to try the technique the psych taught us and said we'd not talk about now, but we would later and we'd all be calm about it.
Well we did the appt (which was pretty stressful since he got a blood test, bless our Ped for being so thorough..she wants to rule out ANYTHING else that could be causing lack of focus or impluse control) and came home...and relaxed a minute or two then had the talk...
He started to get worked up like he does, and both of us pointed out that WE were not upset we only wanted to talk about what happened so we could understand...We went step by step...leading him by saying first you went into the bathroom, alone? or with a buddy? got our answers and went from there.
We got the whole story out (with remarkably little stress), and we asked HIM what might work better next time, and how he could do things differently to get a better outcome...and he seemed really receptive to that. We made some step by step very simple rules for the bathroom at school....go in, pee, pull up pants, wash hands, leave...NOTHING ELSE.
I sent these steps to his teach to get her on board...hopefully she will do so and help us help him.
It could have been a screaming fit where he sat alone in his room to "think about what he'd done" and just a month ago that is what it would have been. But I think this was so much better for his self esteem...and gets him involved in the process of behaving well and offering his own thoughts on that...
When he asks one of his myriad questions (he does this a lot when he is bored or anxious) we ask him what HE thinks instead and at first he was taken aback and said "I don't know..." but now he offers his thoughts which are very often..spot on.
It can work, I know it can...we are making progress even tho there are certainly steps back...
As an aside, on the Pediatrician visit. We knew she'd be conservative and she was but also so sweet and supportive and genuinely worried and almost sad that Eli got the diagnosis he did...she was kinda feeling what we did I think. Hadn't had as much time to work thru it. But she ordered the blood test as a first step and suggested that Concerta is one she has Rx'd and seen good results with. The next appt (next week) will likely be the one we get a scrip at. Kind of scary but we need to explore this avenue and see if help can be offered.
It's good to know tho, because of what occured with the bathroom incident that we CAN talk to him and get thru, using those techniques...and that is comforting.
Yesterday we picked him up early for a Ped appt and he'd flooded the bathroom that day...sigh. He was upset and his teach sent him a paper to write an apology to the janitor on (good idea I think)...
I decided to try the technique the psych taught us and said we'd not talk about now, but we would later and we'd all be calm about it.
Well we did the appt (which was pretty stressful since he got a blood test, bless our Ped for being so thorough..she wants to rule out ANYTHING else that could be causing lack of focus or impluse control) and came home...and relaxed a minute or two then had the talk...
He started to get worked up like he does, and both of us pointed out that WE were not upset we only wanted to talk about what happened so we could understand...We went step by step...leading him by saying first you went into the bathroom, alone? or with a buddy? got our answers and went from there.
We got the whole story out (with remarkably little stress), and we asked HIM what might work better next time, and how he could do things differently to get a better outcome...and he seemed really receptive to that. We made some step by step very simple rules for the bathroom at school....go in, pee, pull up pants, wash hands, leave...NOTHING ELSE.
I sent these steps to his teach to get her on board...hopefully she will do so and help us help him.
It could have been a screaming fit where he sat alone in his room to "think about what he'd done" and just a month ago that is what it would have been. But I think this was so much better for his self esteem...and gets him involved in the process of behaving well and offering his own thoughts on that...
When he asks one of his myriad questions (he does this a lot when he is bored or anxious) we ask him what HE thinks instead and at first he was taken aback and said "I don't know..." but now he offers his thoughts which are very often..spot on.
It can work, I know it can...we are making progress even tho there are certainly steps back...
As an aside, on the Pediatrician visit. We knew she'd be conservative and she was but also so sweet and supportive and genuinely worried and almost sad that Eli got the diagnosis he did...she was kinda feeling what we did I think. Hadn't had as much time to work thru it. But she ordered the blood test as a first step and suggested that Concerta is one she has Rx'd and seen good results with. The next appt (next week) will likely be the one we get a scrip at. Kind of scary but we need to explore this avenue and see if help can be offered.
It's good to know tho, because of what occured with the bathroom incident that we CAN talk to him and get thru, using those techniques...and that is comforting.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Almost mid week
Yesterday's meeting with the doc went well. A lot of information was shared and I asked all my questions as did D, and my Mom even came with to ask the questions she had an offer support. We got one book in the mail already and are waiting on some others...T was so nice and bought some for us to look thru. Her way of helping us out I think, she can be so sweet sometimes.
Today E went in for his eye appt, new doc...he did tweak his scrip just a bit, but not enough really that we'd hope his troubles with writing and such to just go "poof!" oh well, I suppose that was unlikely. So we'll pick new specs out tomorrow after his physical and medication appt with Dr Bishop...
I am interested to see what she'll have to say about our wee man, and the meds we're considering. Hopefully we can find something that will have minimal side effects and help him focus and make things a bit easier for him.
PK's pick up went smoothly...she seemed very nice and her daughter is going to be over the moon with her new puppy, PK is going to be living on a nice farm in Virginia...sounds good to me, can I go to? LOL...
Still working things out logistically with Manny but he should find his people this weekend sometime. Then it's just 3 dogs...seems like not enough LOL.
The holidays are coming up way too fast for me...Thanksgiving is a mere 2 weeks and 2 days away. HOW CAN THAT BE??
oh, it be!
Today E went in for his eye appt, new doc...he did tweak his scrip just a bit, but not enough really that we'd hope his troubles with writing and such to just go "poof!" oh well, I suppose that was unlikely. So we'll pick new specs out tomorrow after his physical and medication appt with Dr Bishop...
I am interested to see what she'll have to say about our wee man, and the meds we're considering. Hopefully we can find something that will have minimal side effects and help him focus and make things a bit easier for him.
PK's pick up went smoothly...she seemed very nice and her daughter is going to be over the moon with her new puppy, PK is going to be living on a nice farm in Virginia...sounds good to me, can I go to? LOL...
Still working things out logistically with Manny but he should find his people this weekend sometime. Then it's just 3 dogs...seems like not enough LOL.
The holidays are coming up way too fast for me...Thanksgiving is a mere 2 weeks and 2 days away. HOW CAN THAT BE??
oh, it be!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
School Daze
Okay so "the report" is now in the hands of the school and all the folks who need it, have it. I spoke just briefly with the diagnostician and VP about it, we arranged to meet again w/ the Pysch for the school present and She Who Must Be Obeyed, on Friday next.
Apparently the wheels of school beauracracy grind slow so this is doubtless the first of many as we inch our way forward to actually helping Elias...*sheesh*.
I am glad outside of the school we can move forwards at a quicker pace. Doc final meeting Mon., Eye specialist Tues. then from there finding the person who will guide us thru the medication maze....intimidating but maybe a ray of hope for a more focused young man.
As a sad but interesting aside Elias came home and told me he had a sub because his Teacher's husband died. That is incredibly sad...he said his Teacher was crying. : ( In spite of our rocky start my heart goes out to her...I cannot even imagine losing my best friend, I hope she can heal. Elias seemed untouched but that would be because of the Asperger's...I did tell him it was a sad event, his Teacher was probably sad...and he maybe could bring her some nice flowers or something when she returns to school.
Apparently the wheels of school beauracracy grind slow so this is doubtless the first of many as we inch our way forward to actually helping Elias...*sheesh*.
I am glad outside of the school we can move forwards at a quicker pace. Doc final meeting Mon., Eye specialist Tues. then from there finding the person who will guide us thru the medication maze....intimidating but maybe a ray of hope for a more focused young man.
As a sad but interesting aside Elias came home and told me he had a sub because his Teacher's husband died. That is incredibly sad...he said his Teacher was crying. : ( In spite of our rocky start my heart goes out to her...I cannot even imagine losing my best friend, I hope she can heal. Elias seemed untouched but that would be because of the Asperger's...I did tell him it was a sad event, his Teacher was probably sad...and he maybe could bring her some nice flowers or something when she returns to school.
Thursday, August 21, 2008
The Last T-Ball game of the season!
We made it...what a long strange trip it's been. I am proud...we stuck it out. Thru tantrums and disinterest...hopeless ineptitude at the tee,...and fumbling in the field. 9 little boys including mine, made it thru the 6 game season.
The last game was last night...rescheduled from Monday (rain out) only 7 boys showed up....the hardcore gamers...the real men. The ones that knew the game needed them, and they needed the game. Well...actually the only one's who's parents brought them but really...the former sounds so much cooler doesn't it?
They assembled and Coach made a mock up batting order...by jersey ...hey it worked! The Bears came to play today, folks...NO ONE went without a hit, most connected within an actual 3 swing/strike time frame. MOST hit it beyond the pitchers position. They ran the bases like they knew where they were going...there were SMILES on every face...no pouting, no crying, no tantrums. They were just glad to be playing baseball again. The weather was a cool mid 70's and the boys were flushed with excitement instead of heat exhaustion....it was A GAME FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS.
Then...like all great games, it ended. 3 innings...1 hour...and some very happy little boys. They had their juice bags and then, came the accolades...the rewards for a hard season spent learning to be real "baseball players". THE TROPHIES!
Now..I bring you the photos...the last reminders of a season well spent, and a boy who took a major step towards being a man...well, at least a boy less likely to cry when he misses a ball in the field...ENJOY!
Pre game warmups...
STANDING up in the field...is recommended, Eli...
Now you're standing good...but you also have to WATCH THE BATTER...
Waiting to bat, and itchy!...the bench was about ankle deep in water so we used the grass...
You have to be coachable...
But...you also have to run to first...RUN...
A boy and his trophy (he was chanting "I won...I won" the whole time folks)
The pics here are MUCH removed from their original quality...you can click the link below to view them in a bigger size and nicer quality!
The last game was last night...rescheduled from Monday (rain out) only 7 boys showed up....the hardcore gamers...the real men. The ones that knew the game needed them, and they needed the game. Well...actually the only one's who's parents brought them but really...the former sounds so much cooler doesn't it?
They assembled and Coach made a mock up batting order...by jersey ...hey it worked! The Bears came to play today, folks...NO ONE went without a hit, most connected within an actual 3 swing/strike time frame. MOST hit it beyond the pitchers position. They ran the bases like they knew where they were going...there were SMILES on every face...no pouting, no crying, no tantrums. They were just glad to be playing baseball again. The weather was a cool mid 70's and the boys were flushed with excitement instead of heat exhaustion....it was A GAME FOR THE HISTORY BOOKS.
Then...like all great games, it ended. 3 innings...1 hour...and some very happy little boys. They had their juice bags and then, came the accolades...the rewards for a hard season spent learning to be real "baseball players". THE TROPHIES!
One by one they stepped forward...gripping those little golden men like the class acts they were...holding them up and shouting and laughing...some breaking into spontaneous dancing...it was grand. And if in the audience a few of the parents had a glint of tears in their eyes...who could blame them? For really...what brings home the essence of childhood...like watching these soon to be men...revelling in their youth, and their achievements?
Now..I bring you the photos...the last reminders of a season well spent, and a boy who took a major step towards being a man...well, at least a boy less likely to cry when he misses a ball in the field...ENJOY!
Pre game warmups...
STANDING up in the field...is recommended, Eli...
Now you're standing good...but you also have to WATCH THE BATTER...
Waiting to bat, and itchy!...the bench was about ankle deep in water so we used the grass...
You have to be coachable...
Because it pays off!
But...you also have to run to first...RUN...
A boy and his trophy (he was chanting "I won...I won" the whole time folks)
The pics here are MUCH removed from their original quality...you can click the link below to view them in a bigger size and nicer quality!
Thursday, May 10, 2007
Elias's favorite hobby (aside from weener-holding...more on that at another time), is "food checking". This is basically...after you have eaten, you walk around and peer intently into everyone else's bowls or plates to see what they have...then pass judgement on it (and if safe to do so...sample some). Funny one was when DH was eating some leftover stew and Eli walked up...observed then said "Daddy you eating POO-POO"...but I digress.
Today Eli finishes his PB & J and Goldfish and wanders over carrying the juicebag o the day...he peers into my bowl and says "Hmm...you like those POTSTICKERS, Mamma?"...umm...yeah I am eating potstickers...but how the HECK does he know what they are? It's not like we eat them often...I bought some for me but rarely eat them becuase the cabbage makes the house reek. Today I had a craving so I ate some...yet here's Eli master Chef knowing what they are. TV? the Internet? LMAO...who knows.
Random...kids do it well.
Today Eli finishes his PB & J and Goldfish and wanders over carrying the juicebag o the day...he peers into my bowl and says "Hmm...you like those POTSTICKERS, Mamma?"...umm...yeah I am eating potstickers...but how the HECK does he know what they are? It's not like we eat them often...I bought some for me but rarely eat them becuase the cabbage makes the house reek. Today I had a craving so I ate some...yet here's Eli master Chef knowing what they are. TV? the Internet? LMAO...who knows.
Random...kids do it well.
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