Yesterday was the ARD meeting. I believe it was the second one for the year as the first one was when we formally requested a re-assessment evaluation for an Autism Spectrum Dx addition to his IEP.
We had been given the findings report during the weekend so we'd gone over that and I had spoken with the school Psychologist as well since, so I knew we were getting the diagnosis added. Weight off my mind. Last time we tried was his first go around in 1st Grade and we were denied. Or rather, they found things...but not that were affecting him "academically"...therein is the rub!
This time tho, we all were in agreement. So we simply proceeded to the new accommodations for him. He also received a Speech addition now that he is older, it had become more evident that his prosody and pragmatics need help and there are a few letter sounds to work on as well. We absolutely agreed. The OT had some suggestions and findings as well relating to his fine motor...again, agreed.
In all we added quite a bit to his IEP. Speech twice a week, notes given on a sheet of paper at his desk vs only the overhead or board as transfer of information is rough for him. My husband and the Diagnostician also pushed for a calculator addendum to be put in..not necessarily for NOW, since math fact fluency is something he needs to get, and we are working on...but just to HAVE it there so its one less thing to fight for later on. We also added in frequent breaks during testing....small group testing vs entire class...and trascribing (he writes his answers on the test itself vs the scantron..which can be tough for him and cause additional anxiety). Some things about social interactions...lunch buddies, giving him jobs that are seen as important so his peers see him as important and competent, etc.
All in all we tried to lessen the level of anxiety he feels in class, prepare him for the inevitable testing, oral presentation, and social interactions that WILL be part of the higher elementary grades he is now part of. I think it went very well, and everyone present had nothing but nice things to say about him...how gentle he is and how sweet...how interested he is in pleasing the teachers. I know that to be true since he lives to play by the rules in general. But it is nice to hear!
Now we head out to conquer the rest of 3rd Grade and hope the things we enact help, and the results are good!
Showing posts with label asperger's. Show all posts
Showing posts with label asperger's. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 18, 2012
Thursday, January 12, 2012
The 2012 ARD Meeting
Well it was today! I had the usual butterflies going in. I know what to expect but still...going into this sort of meeting where you are not sure what's going to be said or etc can be a bit nerve wracking. My husband was able to come this time so that makes it that much easier. He's only missed one, and that was unavoidable.
For those unfamiliar, an ARD is an annual meeting REQUIRED by public schools for any child that has an IEP (basically a special learning plan designed for them due to some academic challenge or medical challenge). You go over the goals set last year, pick some for this year and next, and address any and all concerns over the child any side has. It is typically a parent, a diagnostician...any special ed teachers the child sees, the child's regular teacher, and Admin from the school. In our case, the Principal.
For all that they are a nervous time I also acknowledge that it is a pretty big deal to get to sit down once a year (or more if a parent calls for it) with all these people...in the same room, and discuss ONLY your child. That is huge and I honestly wish ALL parents could do this at LEAST once a year. I know it's pretty much impossible but still. Being able to raise a concern and have the Principal and every adult responsible for your child on a given school day...right there in front of you to discuss and talk with, is really something. They cannot hide from you, give you the run around...ignore you...foist you off etc. Not that all schools or school personnel do that...BUT..
So anyways it seems like our boy is doing about as well as he should be now. He is struggling with out of the box concepts in math and reading/writing...as to be expected with a person with Asperger's really. Speaking of that? I had in my head going in, asking for a re evaluation on him for that very thing. Right now his IEP is ONLY addressing issues with his ADHD, as he was found NOT to meet the criterion for a SCHOOL Asperger's dx last time in Kindergarten. I was wanting to re-visit that because I am seeing more of an effect of being Aspie as relates to schoolwork and such...
Turns out the wonderful Diagnostician at the school brought that up even BEFORE I had a chance! She was very frank in saying she see's more NOW than then...when he was younger and see's some of the social and academic deficits he has NOT narrowing in the way they would if he was just a "late bloomer", and so she herself suggested we try again for the dx of Asperger's. BUT, and here is where she differed from me...she wants to delay the re-assessment until next year as opposed to doing it now.
Her reasoning was...sure right now he MIGHT pass because he DOES have some deficits...BUT if we wait a year, when he is in 3rd Grade and doing 3rd/4th grade work...those deficits will be MUCH easier to spot, harder to ignore and she WANTS him to get a "yes" this time from the Board because she thinks he can benefit from it and needs some services that would afford him. I had to think about it for a bit because my first instinct is to get him re-assessed NOW. But in the end the important thing is to GET THE DIAGNOSIS put onto his file because then it STAYS and goes with him as he moves along. If we try again, and get another "no"...well that wouldn't be so good. And bottom line right now he could not be picked out in his current class by much else from his poor writing as "special needs"...and therein is the worry about testing now. He is an average student doing average work, and struggling in some things the way other kids are.
So the decision was ours at that point and given how much his teacher is doing already and plans to maintain and ADD to this year, we agreed to wait. The assessment itself involves time out of the class and he is holding his own right now and we just don't want to mess with it or make him worry etc right now and throw that all off.
BTW his teacher is just in love with him, you could tell thru the whole thing. She talked about his little idiosyncrasies and such with such candor and amusement and tenderness that we could tell that. She is doing A LOT in the course of the day to make his experience in the classroom better, and she is using his resource time well. That made me much more comfortable waiting. One cannot stress enough the importance of a teacher willing to accept a difference and learn to work with it and most importantly not look on it as a dreaded, mandated duty or "ugh", but as something she wants to do to help a student she genuinely would like to see succeed. I am so grateful to her :)
I also am going to share that the work I did with my therapist was in force here too. I felt so different leading up to it. Butterflies and nerves but not that loin-girding...battle axe rattling momma Grizzly like RAWR facade over myself. It's hard to describe but before I did that work I felt almost like I put on a different person over the real me because the real me wasn't strong enough or assertive enough. Today I felt like it was just me...and momma bear was still there but she was behind me (just in case I needed her but it would be MY call to make), and we were working together. I hope that doesn't sound to nuts but if it does...consider the source. LMAO!
Anyways. I am happy with how things went, grateful to not be alone in this, my husband and family and my friends are all so helpful and supportive of us. I thank them each and every one!
For those unfamiliar, an ARD is an annual meeting REQUIRED by public schools for any child that has an IEP (basically a special learning plan designed for them due to some academic challenge or medical challenge). You go over the goals set last year, pick some for this year and next, and address any and all concerns over the child any side has. It is typically a parent, a diagnostician...any special ed teachers the child sees, the child's regular teacher, and Admin from the school. In our case, the Principal.
For all that they are a nervous time I also acknowledge that it is a pretty big deal to get to sit down once a year (or more if a parent calls for it) with all these people...in the same room, and discuss ONLY your child. That is huge and I honestly wish ALL parents could do this at LEAST once a year. I know it's pretty much impossible but still. Being able to raise a concern and have the Principal and every adult responsible for your child on a given school day...right there in front of you to discuss and talk with, is really something. They cannot hide from you, give you the run around...ignore you...foist you off etc. Not that all schools or school personnel do that...BUT..
So anyways it seems like our boy is doing about as well as he should be now. He is struggling with out of the box concepts in math and reading/writing...as to be expected with a person with Asperger's really. Speaking of that? I had in my head going in, asking for a re evaluation on him for that very thing. Right now his IEP is ONLY addressing issues with his ADHD, as he was found NOT to meet the criterion for a SCHOOL Asperger's dx last time in Kindergarten. I was wanting to re-visit that because I am seeing more of an effect of being Aspie as relates to schoolwork and such...
Turns out the wonderful Diagnostician at the school brought that up even BEFORE I had a chance! She was very frank in saying she see's more NOW than then...when he was younger and see's some of the social and academic deficits he has NOT narrowing in the way they would if he was just a "late bloomer", and so she herself suggested we try again for the dx of Asperger's. BUT, and here is where she differed from me...she wants to delay the re-assessment until next year as opposed to doing it now.
Her reasoning was...sure right now he MIGHT pass because he DOES have some deficits...BUT if we wait a year, when he is in 3rd Grade and doing 3rd/4th grade work...those deficits will be MUCH easier to spot, harder to ignore and she WANTS him to get a "yes" this time from the Board because she thinks he can benefit from it and needs some services that would afford him. I had to think about it for a bit because my first instinct is to get him re-assessed NOW. But in the end the important thing is to GET THE DIAGNOSIS put onto his file because then it STAYS and goes with him as he moves along. If we try again, and get another "no"...well that wouldn't be so good. And bottom line right now he could not be picked out in his current class by much else from his poor writing as "special needs"...and therein is the worry about testing now. He is an average student doing average work, and struggling in some things the way other kids are.
So the decision was ours at that point and given how much his teacher is doing already and plans to maintain and ADD to this year, we agreed to wait. The assessment itself involves time out of the class and he is holding his own right now and we just don't want to mess with it or make him worry etc right now and throw that all off.
BTW his teacher is just in love with him, you could tell thru the whole thing. She talked about his little idiosyncrasies and such with such candor and amusement and tenderness that we could tell that. She is doing A LOT in the course of the day to make his experience in the classroom better, and she is using his resource time well. That made me much more comfortable waiting. One cannot stress enough the importance of a teacher willing to accept a difference and learn to work with it and most importantly not look on it as a dreaded, mandated duty or "ugh", but as something she wants to do to help a student she genuinely would like to see succeed. I am so grateful to her :)
I also am going to share that the work I did with my therapist was in force here too. I felt so different leading up to it. Butterflies and nerves but not that loin-girding...battle axe rattling momma Grizzly like RAWR facade over myself. It's hard to describe but before I did that work I felt almost like I put on a different person over the real me because the real me wasn't strong enough or assertive enough. Today I felt like it was just me...and momma bear was still there but she was behind me (just in case I needed her but it would be MY call to make), and we were working together. I hope that doesn't sound to nuts but if it does...consider the source. LMAO!
Anyways. I am happy with how things went, grateful to not be alone in this, my husband and family and my friends are all so helpful and supportive of us. I thank them each and every one!
Friday, January 6, 2012
Into 2012 we go!
Christmas and New Year's passed remarkably well here at our place. I am making some headway in dealing with my "mommy issues" and so far we've had some successful attempts to spend time together without any drama. I am hopeful on that front. I did some work just after Christmas with my therapist that was tremendously helpful. Hoping to continue that later this month.
All the Christmas gear was stowed away within a couple days of the day passing. If I don't do it then it tends to linger on way past NYE lol!
On the kiddo front, Elias's ARD meeting is next week and I am just a BIT jumpy/antsy about it. I am really torn between wanting them to RE-evaluate him for Autism and what it would mean if they did and found he was. Right now his IEP is only addressing his ADHD issues and honestly I think his Aspie stuff is more what's holding him back this year, the retention...openness to new concepts...and fine motor is just not there. I am hoping that the meeting yields a consensus on these items so we can formulate a new plan for him. So that's been giving me a couple of sleepless nights. He is doing WELL, but is still IMO behind where he should be and right now he just doesn't seem like a "3rd Grader" even with several months left. Fingers crossed.
Lily and Eli both tho, went back to school yesterday and both had a good day. Eli claims he doesn't want to go but he is truly, happier within all the structure and routine vs kinda vegetating her at home. The school's short week, tho mystifying seems to be a good "getting back into the swing of things" approach.
We are headed up north this weekend to "do Christmas" so that should hopefully be nice. At least there's always booze! LOL.
All the Christmas gear was stowed away within a couple days of the day passing. If I don't do it then it tends to linger on way past NYE lol!
On the kiddo front, Elias's ARD meeting is next week and I am just a BIT jumpy/antsy about it. I am really torn between wanting them to RE-evaluate him for Autism and what it would mean if they did and found he was. Right now his IEP is only addressing his ADHD issues and honestly I think his Aspie stuff is more what's holding him back this year, the retention...openness to new concepts...and fine motor is just not there. I am hoping that the meeting yields a consensus on these items so we can formulate a new plan for him. So that's been giving me a couple of sleepless nights. He is doing WELL, but is still IMO behind where he should be and right now he just doesn't seem like a "3rd Grader" even with several months left. Fingers crossed.
Lily and Eli both tho, went back to school yesterday and both had a good day. Eli claims he doesn't want to go but he is truly, happier within all the structure and routine vs kinda vegetating her at home. The school's short week, tho mystifying seems to be a good "getting back into the swing of things" approach.
We are headed up north this weekend to "do Christmas" so that should hopefully be nice. At least there's always booze! LOL.
Friday, January 29, 2010
Friday, Final
Final is what this whole thing with Elias and school is. At least for the next 12 months. The ARD was today and at the end of it? A totally acceptable and indeed, comprehensive and impressive...IEP. A roadmap with visible markers, leading to his academic future. Guides to help ease him on his way, and concrete finite goals the school will be held to helping him attain.
The Holy Grail of parenting a special needs kids I am told...an IEP...and now my boy has one.
Since that comment by Elias's teacher all those months ago, this road has been very bumpy and jarring in places, and I am glad to be at the end of it. Even more glad because thanks to those jars and bumps...the NEXT time we tread down the same path as a family (and we will) we will have the shock absorber called "experience"...you feel me?
I am proud of all of us...everyone in this family pulled for Eli including Elias himself...submitting to test after test, doctor's visits, fearsome events for a six year old...but he did it. We as a family unit are stronger than we've ever been...closer it feels, and more able to deal with bad stuff that may occur.
I have to admit I do feel a bit of personal pride that comes from the fearsome Mama Bear stuff that happened with me, hoping I'll be allowed that with no crash and burn to bring me back down. That's me, always wary and watching for the other shoe to drop...no, not drop...kick me in the arse.
Positive, be positive...how's that work again?
Before I get too far into downerville I will end this, happy and grinning, feeling accomplished for once...like I've seen something thru.
Funny, that is on our whiteboard in the kitchen...it's our "Thought of the Week": FOLLOW THROUGH.
I think, I have :o)
The Holy Grail of parenting a special needs kids I am told...an IEP...and now my boy has one.
Since that comment by Elias's teacher all those months ago, this road has been very bumpy and jarring in places, and I am glad to be at the end of it. Even more glad because thanks to those jars and bumps...the NEXT time we tread down the same path as a family (and we will) we will have the shock absorber called "experience"...you feel me?
I am proud of all of us...everyone in this family pulled for Eli including Elias himself...submitting to test after test, doctor's visits, fearsome events for a six year old...but he did it. We as a family unit are stronger than we've ever been...closer it feels, and more able to deal with bad stuff that may occur.
I have to admit I do feel a bit of personal pride that comes from the fearsome Mama Bear stuff that happened with me, hoping I'll be allowed that with no crash and burn to bring me back down. That's me, always wary and watching for the other shoe to drop...no, not drop...kick me in the arse.
Positive, be positive...how's that work again?
Before I get too far into downerville I will end this, happy and grinning, feeling accomplished for once...like I've seen something thru.
Funny, that is on our whiteboard in the kitchen...it's our "Thought of the Week": FOLLOW THROUGH.
I think, I have :o)
Tuesday, January 26, 2010
Monday Meeting
Today was the meeting to go over the school Psych's findings on Master Elias. Young Master Elias is not getting a recommendation for an IEP relating to an Autism disorder...which actually, is fine with me and I agree with, and he IS getting one for his ADHD/ADD which I also agree with.
We went over their Autism related testing, done with a panel of 4 adults with various credentials and reading what went on, had me interested and impressed. Eli has apparently made a LOT of progress and after some (appropriate given he is a 6 y/o boy taken to a room with 4 adults he did not know at all in it) apprehension he proceeded to interact with the testers, talk with them, laugh with them and look them in the eye. he completed all but a couple tasks and did them in a "non disordered" manner. That is good news as I see it.
Now I am not saying or believing my son does NOT have some sort of small difficulty likely to be some spectrum issue...BUT I agree with the school that those minor difficulties are NOT the reason his schooling is tough right now. That is ALL the ADHD and attention based stuff...well, most of it.
Likely some Learning Disorder too, which the will also be keeping a close watch on. I made it clear that under NO circumstance do I want to be late to the party on that score. My son WILL be checked on, often and ANY LD like issues will be dealt with promptly. There simply is not a crack out there with his name on it..for him to fall into, as far as we are concerned.
I think that was made very clear by us...
The formal ARD meeting where the plan for his education for the next 12 months is going to be presented, will be on Friday and I will certainly have my thoughts on that then for you to peruse LOL.
I feel in a better place now to deal with this, largely due to the man next to me during this meeting. Hubs has been such a rock thru this once I realized it's okay to lean on him and not handle all this weirdness on my own. Why I thought that necessary to begin with is...lame. Work in progress, folks!
I am looking forward to Friday.
Did I mention my daughter brought home STRAIGHT A'S?? I am sure I did lol...but there it is again. She is such a nice breather from all this. NO everything is not easy for her...she struggles and pushes our buttons, too sometimes...but her bright nimble mind is a good reprieve, and I enjoy so much watching her blossom into a very intelligent and confident young lady who knows her stuff and has set goals for herself.
Both my kids are so very different but they love each other so completely and without reservation is it a great comfort to me. They support one another and help one another when it counts...minor squabbles aside. They are a great example of how people should ALWAYS treat one another...with love, with fun, with joy, even thru disagreements and outright wars...you always come back to common ground and rebuild your love.
Happy Monday, all!
We went over their Autism related testing, done with a panel of 4 adults with various credentials and reading what went on, had me interested and impressed. Eli has apparently made a LOT of progress and after some (appropriate given he is a 6 y/o boy taken to a room with 4 adults he did not know at all in it) apprehension he proceeded to interact with the testers, talk with them, laugh with them and look them in the eye. he completed all but a couple tasks and did them in a "non disordered" manner. That is good news as I see it.
Now I am not saying or believing my son does NOT have some sort of small difficulty likely to be some spectrum issue...BUT I agree with the school that those minor difficulties are NOT the reason his schooling is tough right now. That is ALL the ADHD and attention based stuff...well, most of it.
Likely some Learning Disorder too, which the will also be keeping a close watch on. I made it clear that under NO circumstance do I want to be late to the party on that score. My son WILL be checked on, often and ANY LD like issues will be dealt with promptly. There simply is not a crack out there with his name on it..for him to fall into, as far as we are concerned.
I think that was made very clear by us...
The formal ARD meeting where the plan for his education for the next 12 months is going to be presented, will be on Friday and I will certainly have my thoughts on that then for you to peruse LOL.
I feel in a better place now to deal with this, largely due to the man next to me during this meeting. Hubs has been such a rock thru this once I realized it's okay to lean on him and not handle all this weirdness on my own. Why I thought that necessary to begin with is...lame. Work in progress, folks!
I am looking forward to Friday.
Did I mention my daughter brought home STRAIGHT A'S?? I am sure I did lol...but there it is again. She is such a nice breather from all this. NO everything is not easy for her...she struggles and pushes our buttons, too sometimes...but her bright nimble mind is a good reprieve, and I enjoy so much watching her blossom into a very intelligent and confident young lady who knows her stuff and has set goals for herself.
Both my kids are so very different but they love each other so completely and without reservation is it a great comfort to me. They support one another and help one another when it counts...minor squabbles aside. They are a great example of how people should ALWAYS treat one another...with love, with fun, with joy, even thru disagreements and outright wars...you always come back to common ground and rebuild your love.
Happy Monday, all!
Tuesday, December 22, 2009
How many acronyms...
Can we stick onto Elias? LOL.
Hmm...I might add another soon...
"LD", learning disability. Most likely...aside from the other two issues his doc suggested, after a discussion about his eye doctor visit today...that his lack of connecting what he SEES...to what he WRITES, or SAYS...is probably a Learning Disability of some type.
I can ge behind that because now that the Concerta has removed a lot of the distraction for the boy, he STILL has trouble writing especially copying...something already printed on his own, and staying within the confines of his lines or paper. Let alone making legible letters or all the same size letters.
I read a bit on "dysgraphia" and boy that does seem to be a possible. It seems there a lot that can be done for it, and he will be able to eventually learn how to make the most of what he can do, in spite of it. Which I already knew...I wouldn't let it be any other way!
So now after Xmas break I am going to grab hold of the school again and make sure they have done some LD testing in addition to the other stuff for ADHD and Aspergers and are adding that into any IEP that comes about. Mustn't let them get away too long without being called to the carpet to report! TEEHEE!!
Christmas nearly upon us I can reflect on what a bumpy end of the year it's been...but I am certainly more educated and invested in my kids, both of them as a result. I feel like I've grown as a parent and as a wife too. So that makes the bumps a lot easier to manage!
Merry Christmas all! I am saying that in case I don't get to the blog again til afterwards! :)
Hmm...I might add another soon...
"LD", learning disability. Most likely...aside from the other two issues his doc suggested, after a discussion about his eye doctor visit today...that his lack of connecting what he SEES...to what he WRITES, or SAYS...is probably a Learning Disability of some type.
I can ge behind that because now that the Concerta has removed a lot of the distraction for the boy, he STILL has trouble writing especially copying...something already printed on his own, and staying within the confines of his lines or paper. Let alone making legible letters or all the same size letters.
I read a bit on "dysgraphia" and boy that does seem to be a possible. It seems there a lot that can be done for it, and he will be able to eventually learn how to make the most of what he can do, in spite of it. Which I already knew...I wouldn't let it be any other way!
So now after Xmas break I am going to grab hold of the school again and make sure they have done some LD testing in addition to the other stuff for ADHD and Aspergers and are adding that into any IEP that comes about. Mustn't let them get away too long without being called to the carpet to report! TEEHEE!!
Christmas nearly upon us I can reflect on what a bumpy end of the year it's been...but I am certainly more educated and invested in my kids, both of them as a result. I feel like I've grown as a parent and as a wife too. So that makes the bumps a lot easier to manage!
Merry Christmas all! I am saying that in case I don't get to the blog again til afterwards! :)
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
Tuesday was great
yesterday, Eli had what was probably his best day in a long time...
It started when I went to pick him up...no warnings...always great! Then on the way home he was really telling me about his day, unusual but so welcome. Not having to yank info out of a lil' clam is refreshing!
We got home and he was so...THERE. Polite...please and thank you...WHO IS THIS BOY? I almost think they worked on manners at school that day? He said he did not have homework then later remembered he had math to finish (cringe)...but you know what? He KNEW what he needed to do on his math and got his abacus out HIMSELF and I pretty much just sat there and watched him work...his numbers were clear and looked like his sister wrote them! I really was speechless. I guess the OT maybe has copped hold of him at school??
He asked to go to the Book Fair in such a sweet manner I could not say no. When hubs got home and we were getting ready to head down I laid out "the rules" and he said YES, M'AM. You know I was looking askance at him...again, wondering where my obstroperous lil' man went this evening?
At the Book Fair. He couldn't recall the book he wanted (it was yellow and a chapter book) but instead of flipping out...he simply said "I think I'll get a different book...this Phineas & Ferb book." Switching off a want to something else is NOT something he normally can do easily. Then, when I pointed out that he probably couldn't read the words but I'd read it to him he said so nicely "I can look at the pictures too...I like this book" (Eli hardly EVER says what he likes or doesn't and if you ask him it's "a lot of things" or "everything", just to end the convo).
We went to the cafeteria for a while so they could look over their purchases...Lily got a way cool book on critters, of course! They sat at the tables and Eli was very focused on his book pretending to read it (well looking for words he knew so really reading) proudly telling us when he'd "finished a chapter" lol! There were kids running around in there, playing this and that game.
Lily would wander off from time to time when she saw a classmate or friend (she is GOOD at this, I envy ehr I truly do) and he'd tag along behind her, she'd pat his head and roll her eyes when she intro'd him to her friends, very cute. He got onto the stage in front of the drawn curtain and kinda danced around like a goof up there...lol.
THEN...THEN ladies n gentleman it happened. A small boy he'd greeted as "Jrealnameleftoffintentionally" at the entrance came over and had a "special rock" he was showing off. We told him to show it to Eli and he basically accosted E who was trying to withdraw and showed him...they moved off a ways while Eli was trying to get over the fact that this boy was TALKING to him...then the boy came back over to us and we all looked at his rock interestedly. At that point Eli came back...and looked and the boy said "Let's play..." and Eli WENT with the boy as he tossed his little rock around and they tried to get to it first...
They were a ways down the cafeteria when I saw Eli stop and say something to the boy and other lil girl who was tagging along (she seemed very interested in Eli, must know him)..and then Eli ran off to count. He had actually suggested they play hide and seek! I mean this is SO such a big...no HUGE deal. Eli NEVER actually suggests anything to other kids and always looks a bit uncomfortable and pained when in their company. But he was smiling ear to ear...and just galomphing all OVER the place playing hide n seek. The game grew as more kids joined in and he kept smiling. The little gal actually told Eli once when he was about to go count "No! I am gonna count"...and he just let it go and went and hid with the rest! HUGE HUGE DEAL PEOPLE.
He was on the "edge" of being able to go up and speak to a child all night...you could SEE him struggling with his want to do so...and his anxiety & inability to do so...it was really so hard to watch. He even came over and asked US to play hide n seek before all this...and when we said no, he should ask a kid...he asked Lily lol. Who declined in favor of giggling with a friend...he WANTED to ask them....he just couldn't. He'd follow at a distance and kinda try out his "frolic" when they weren't looking...copying their actions...but when that boy came over and broke the ice HE JUMPED IN!!
whoo hoo!! It might've just been for that night...but it was beautiful and I hope he sees now that he CAN play with others...they DO like him because he is likeable...and he CAN suggest and lead even a tiny bit...I am so incredibly proud of him...I truly am. :)
It started when I went to pick him up...no warnings...always great! Then on the way home he was really telling me about his day, unusual but so welcome. Not having to yank info out of a lil' clam is refreshing!
We got home and he was so...THERE. Polite...please and thank you...WHO IS THIS BOY? I almost think they worked on manners at school that day? He said he did not have homework then later remembered he had math to finish (cringe)...but you know what? He KNEW what he needed to do on his math and got his abacus out HIMSELF and I pretty much just sat there and watched him work...his numbers were clear and looked like his sister wrote them! I really was speechless. I guess the OT maybe has copped hold of him at school??
He asked to go to the Book Fair in such a sweet manner I could not say no. When hubs got home and we were getting ready to head down I laid out "the rules" and he said YES, M'AM. You know I was looking askance at him...again, wondering where my obstroperous lil' man went this evening?
At the Book Fair. He couldn't recall the book he wanted (it was yellow and a chapter book) but instead of flipping out...he simply said "I think I'll get a different book...this Phineas & Ferb book." Switching off a want to something else is NOT something he normally can do easily. Then, when I pointed out that he probably couldn't read the words but I'd read it to him he said so nicely "I can look at the pictures too...I like this book" (Eli hardly EVER says what he likes or doesn't and if you ask him it's "a lot of things" or "everything", just to end the convo).
We went to the cafeteria for a while so they could look over their purchases...Lily got a way cool book on critters, of course! They sat at the tables and Eli was very focused on his book pretending to read it (well looking for words he knew so really reading) proudly telling us when he'd "finished a chapter" lol! There were kids running around in there, playing this and that game.
Lily would wander off from time to time when she saw a classmate or friend (she is GOOD at this, I envy ehr I truly do) and he'd tag along behind her, she'd pat his head and roll her eyes when she intro'd him to her friends, very cute. He got onto the stage in front of the drawn curtain and kinda danced around like a goof up there...lol.
THEN...THEN ladies n gentleman it happened. A small boy he'd greeted as "Jrealnameleftoffintentionally" at the entrance came over and had a "special rock" he was showing off. We told him to show it to Eli and he basically accosted E who was trying to withdraw and showed him...they moved off a ways while Eli was trying to get over the fact that this boy was TALKING to him...then the boy came back over to us and we all looked at his rock interestedly. At that point Eli came back...and looked and the boy said "Let's play..." and Eli WENT with the boy as he tossed his little rock around and they tried to get to it first...
They were a ways down the cafeteria when I saw Eli stop and say something to the boy and other lil girl who was tagging along (she seemed very interested in Eli, must know him)..and then Eli ran off to count. He had actually suggested they play hide and seek! I mean this is SO such a big...no HUGE deal. Eli NEVER actually suggests anything to other kids and always looks a bit uncomfortable and pained when in their company. But he was smiling ear to ear...and just galomphing all OVER the place playing hide n seek. The game grew as more kids joined in and he kept smiling. The little gal actually told Eli once when he was about to go count "No! I am gonna count"...and he just let it go and went and hid with the rest! HUGE HUGE DEAL PEOPLE.
He was on the "edge" of being able to go up and speak to a child all night...you could SEE him struggling with his want to do so...and his anxiety & inability to do so...it was really so hard to watch. He even came over and asked US to play hide n seek before all this...and when we said no, he should ask a kid...he asked Lily lol. Who declined in favor of giggling with a friend...he WANTED to ask them....he just couldn't. He'd follow at a distance and kinda try out his "frolic" when they weren't looking...copying their actions...but when that boy came over and broke the ice HE JUMPED IN!!
whoo hoo!! It might've just been for that night...but it was beautiful and I hope he sees now that he CAN play with others...they DO like him because he is likeable...and he CAN suggest and lead even a tiny bit...I am so incredibly proud of him...I truly am. :)
Monday, November 16, 2009
Middlin' Monday
Dare one say so far so good? Lily and Elias are both snot factories BUT...no fever or overly scary symptoms of "you know what" so they're off to school.
Blustery cool morning and day today is on tap to balance out the just scary good weather we've had. Indian Summer? heck it was more like just plain ole Summer...you know the good part before it gets to where you wanna strangle the sun?
Today I have an I feel, much needed and welcome appt with the very nice therapist who helped us out with my other sis's healing this past Summer. I have many things to get off my chest and many things I want to ask about how I can cope better with the Eli thing...so here's to a good head-shrinking!
This weekend was busy...but not frenetic. We drove Manny (now Polo BTW) to his new people. A longish drive, but short by Tx standards at a mere 2.5 hrs. Not too much in the way of traffic, the kids behaved like road trip champs (like they are!) and the ride back was even more enjoyable.
D had a wonderful idea this weekend for Elias and his meltdowns...which BTW have become a lot less common of late (good sign I think?)...we apparently need to catch them BEFORE they reach MACH 5...and to that end D found some CandyLand cards in red and green and because verbal things tend to push him over the edge when he is teetering...we just hold up the GREEN one and he knows that means "settle down or the red card comes next". The RED card means "to your room to cool down...and we'll be in to talk".
Green card came out once and the red not at ALL this weekend I don't think. He really seems grateful to have some sort of non verbal cue to help him know when that edge is getting too close. He spent a lot more time voluntarily with us in the main room this weekend, more engaged with us...more apt to speak and conversate in a pretty normal kid way. I feel another small triumph. :) Not jumping around just yet tho because that seems to court disaster lol.
Lily had a fun project this weekend..."disguising" a Turkey (paper cut out) to hide him from Thanksgiving LOL. She went to Grandma's and decorated him up with Xmas stuff! lol...it looked SO cute! Little mini light embellishments around his fan tail and a Santa Hat on complete with jingle bell. That's an A+ project if ever I've seen one :) Thanks Grandma!
I guess I've rabbited on enough for now...this weekend was good...I hope everyone else's was as well!
Blustery cool morning and day today is on tap to balance out the just scary good weather we've had. Indian Summer? heck it was more like just plain ole Summer...you know the good part before it gets to where you wanna strangle the sun?
Today I have an I feel, much needed and welcome appt with the very nice therapist who helped us out with my other sis's healing this past Summer. I have many things to get off my chest and many things I want to ask about how I can cope better with the Eli thing...so here's to a good head-shrinking!
This weekend was busy...but not frenetic. We drove Manny (now Polo BTW) to his new people. A longish drive, but short by Tx standards at a mere 2.5 hrs. Not too much in the way of traffic, the kids behaved like road trip champs (like they are!) and the ride back was even more enjoyable.
D had a wonderful idea this weekend for Elias and his meltdowns...which BTW have become a lot less common of late (good sign I think?)...we apparently need to catch them BEFORE they reach MACH 5...and to that end D found some CandyLand cards in red and green and because verbal things tend to push him over the edge when he is teetering...we just hold up the GREEN one and he knows that means "settle down or the red card comes next". The RED card means "to your room to cool down...and we'll be in to talk".
Green card came out once and the red not at ALL this weekend I don't think. He really seems grateful to have some sort of non verbal cue to help him know when that edge is getting too close. He spent a lot more time voluntarily with us in the main room this weekend, more engaged with us...more apt to speak and conversate in a pretty normal kid way. I feel another small triumph. :) Not jumping around just yet tho because that seems to court disaster lol.
Lily had a fun project this weekend..."disguising" a Turkey (paper cut out) to hide him from Thanksgiving LOL. She went to Grandma's and decorated him up with Xmas stuff! lol...it looked SO cute! Little mini light embellishments around his fan tail and a Santa Hat on complete with jingle bell. That's an A+ project if ever I've seen one :) Thanks Grandma!
I guess I've rabbited on enough for now...this weekend was good...I hope everyone else's was as well!
Thursday, November 12, 2009
Steps forward, steps back...
we've been trying some new things as far as how we deal when Eli's impulsivity causes issues at school.
Yesterday we picked him up early for a Ped appt and he'd flooded the bathroom that day...sigh. He was upset and his teach sent him a paper to write an apology to the janitor on (good idea I think)...
I decided to try the technique the psych taught us and said we'd not talk about now, but we would later and we'd all be calm about it.
Well we did the appt (which was pretty stressful since he got a blood test, bless our Ped for being so thorough..she wants to rule out ANYTHING else that could be causing lack of focus or impluse control) and came home...and relaxed a minute or two then had the talk...
He started to get worked up like he does, and both of us pointed out that WE were not upset we only wanted to talk about what happened so we could understand...We went step by step...leading him by saying first you went into the bathroom, alone? or with a buddy? got our answers and went from there.
We got the whole story out (with remarkably little stress), and we asked HIM what might work better next time, and how he could do things differently to get a better outcome...and he seemed really receptive to that. We made some step by step very simple rules for the bathroom at school....go in, pee, pull up pants, wash hands, leave...NOTHING ELSE.
I sent these steps to his teach to get her on board...hopefully she will do so and help us help him.
It could have been a screaming fit where he sat alone in his room to "think about what he'd done" and just a month ago that is what it would have been. But I think this was so much better for his self esteem...and gets him involved in the process of behaving well and offering his own thoughts on that...
When he asks one of his myriad questions (he does this a lot when he is bored or anxious) we ask him what HE thinks instead and at first he was taken aback and said "I don't know..." but now he offers his thoughts which are very often..spot on.
It can work, I know it can...we are making progress even tho there are certainly steps back...
As an aside, on the Pediatrician visit. We knew she'd be conservative and she was but also so sweet and supportive and genuinely worried and almost sad that Eli got the diagnosis he did...she was kinda feeling what we did I think. Hadn't had as much time to work thru it. But she ordered the blood test as a first step and suggested that Concerta is one she has Rx'd and seen good results with. The next appt (next week) will likely be the one we get a scrip at. Kind of scary but we need to explore this avenue and see if help can be offered.
It's good to know tho, because of what occured with the bathroom incident that we CAN talk to him and get thru, using those techniques...and that is comforting.
Yesterday we picked him up early for a Ped appt and he'd flooded the bathroom that day...sigh. He was upset and his teach sent him a paper to write an apology to the janitor on (good idea I think)...
I decided to try the technique the psych taught us and said we'd not talk about now, but we would later and we'd all be calm about it.
Well we did the appt (which was pretty stressful since he got a blood test, bless our Ped for being so thorough..she wants to rule out ANYTHING else that could be causing lack of focus or impluse control) and came home...and relaxed a minute or two then had the talk...
He started to get worked up like he does, and both of us pointed out that WE were not upset we only wanted to talk about what happened so we could understand...We went step by step...leading him by saying first you went into the bathroom, alone? or with a buddy? got our answers and went from there.
We got the whole story out (with remarkably little stress), and we asked HIM what might work better next time, and how he could do things differently to get a better outcome...and he seemed really receptive to that. We made some step by step very simple rules for the bathroom at school....go in, pee, pull up pants, wash hands, leave...NOTHING ELSE.
I sent these steps to his teach to get her on board...hopefully she will do so and help us help him.
It could have been a screaming fit where he sat alone in his room to "think about what he'd done" and just a month ago that is what it would have been. But I think this was so much better for his self esteem...and gets him involved in the process of behaving well and offering his own thoughts on that...
When he asks one of his myriad questions (he does this a lot when he is bored or anxious) we ask him what HE thinks instead and at first he was taken aback and said "I don't know..." but now he offers his thoughts which are very often..spot on.
It can work, I know it can...we are making progress even tho there are certainly steps back...
As an aside, on the Pediatrician visit. We knew she'd be conservative and she was but also so sweet and supportive and genuinely worried and almost sad that Eli got the diagnosis he did...she was kinda feeling what we did I think. Hadn't had as much time to work thru it. But she ordered the blood test as a first step and suggested that Concerta is one she has Rx'd and seen good results with. The next appt (next week) will likely be the one we get a scrip at. Kind of scary but we need to explore this avenue and see if help can be offered.
It's good to know tho, because of what occured with the bathroom incident that we CAN talk to him and get thru, using those techniques...and that is comforting.
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Almost mid week
Yesterday's meeting with the doc went well. A lot of information was shared and I asked all my questions as did D, and my Mom even came with to ask the questions she had an offer support. We got one book in the mail already and are waiting on some others...T was so nice and bought some for us to look thru. Her way of helping us out I think, she can be so sweet sometimes.
Today E went in for his eye appt, new doc...he did tweak his scrip just a bit, but not enough really that we'd hope his troubles with writing and such to just go "poof!" oh well, I suppose that was unlikely. So we'll pick new specs out tomorrow after his physical and medication appt with Dr Bishop...
I am interested to see what she'll have to say about our wee man, and the meds we're considering. Hopefully we can find something that will have minimal side effects and help him focus and make things a bit easier for him.
PK's pick up went smoothly...she seemed very nice and her daughter is going to be over the moon with her new puppy, PK is going to be living on a nice farm in Virginia...sounds good to me, can I go to? LOL...
Still working things out logistically with Manny but he should find his people this weekend sometime. Then it's just 3 dogs...seems like not enough LOL.
The holidays are coming up way too fast for me...Thanksgiving is a mere 2 weeks and 2 days away. HOW CAN THAT BE??
oh, it be!
Today E went in for his eye appt, new doc...he did tweak his scrip just a bit, but not enough really that we'd hope his troubles with writing and such to just go "poof!" oh well, I suppose that was unlikely. So we'll pick new specs out tomorrow after his physical and medication appt with Dr Bishop...
I am interested to see what she'll have to say about our wee man, and the meds we're considering. Hopefully we can find something that will have minimal side effects and help him focus and make things a bit easier for him.
PK's pick up went smoothly...she seemed very nice and her daughter is going to be over the moon with her new puppy, PK is going to be living on a nice farm in Virginia...sounds good to me, can I go to? LOL...
Still working things out logistically with Manny but he should find his people this weekend sometime. Then it's just 3 dogs...seems like not enough LOL.
The holidays are coming up way too fast for me...Thanksgiving is a mere 2 weeks and 2 days away. HOW CAN THAT BE??
oh, it be!
Thursday, November 5, 2009
School Daze
Okay so "the report" is now in the hands of the school and all the folks who need it, have it. I spoke just briefly with the diagnostician and VP about it, we arranged to meet again w/ the Pysch for the school present and She Who Must Be Obeyed, on Friday next.
Apparently the wheels of school beauracracy grind slow so this is doubtless the first of many as we inch our way forward to actually helping Elias...*sheesh*.
I am glad outside of the school we can move forwards at a quicker pace. Doc final meeting Mon., Eye specialist Tues. then from there finding the person who will guide us thru the medication maze....intimidating but maybe a ray of hope for a more focused young man.
As a sad but interesting aside Elias came home and told me he had a sub because his Teacher's husband died. That is incredibly sad...he said his Teacher was crying. : ( In spite of our rocky start my heart goes out to her...I cannot even imagine losing my best friend, I hope she can heal. Elias seemed untouched but that would be because of the Asperger's...I did tell him it was a sad event, his Teacher was probably sad...and he maybe could bring her some nice flowers or something when she returns to school.
Apparently the wheels of school beauracracy grind slow so this is doubtless the first of many as we inch our way forward to actually helping Elias...*sheesh*.
I am glad outside of the school we can move forwards at a quicker pace. Doc final meeting Mon., Eye specialist Tues. then from there finding the person who will guide us thru the medication maze....intimidating but maybe a ray of hope for a more focused young man.
As a sad but interesting aside Elias came home and told me he had a sub because his Teacher's husband died. That is incredibly sad...he said his Teacher was crying. : ( In spite of our rocky start my heart goes out to her...I cannot even imagine losing my best friend, I hope she can heal. Elias seemed untouched but that would be because of the Asperger's...I did tell him it was a sad event, his Teacher was probably sad...and he maybe could bring her some nice flowers or something when she returns to school.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)