The 2012 ARD Meeting

Well it was today! I had the usual butterflies going in. I know what to expect but still...going into this sort of meeting where you are not sure what's going to be said or etc can be a bit nerve wracking. My husband was able to come this time so that makes it that much easier. He's only missed one, and that was unavoidable.


For those unfamiliar, an ARD is an annual meeting REQUIRED by public schools for any child that has an IEP (basically a special learning plan designed for them due to some academic challenge or medical challenge). You go over the goals set last year, pick some for this year and next, and address any and all concerns over the child any side has. It is typically a parent, a diagnostician...any special ed teachers the child sees, the child's regular teacher, and Admin from the school. In our case, the Principal.


For all that they are a nervous time I also acknowledge that it is a pretty big deal to get to sit down once a year (or more if a parent calls for it) with all these people...in the same room, and discuss ONLY your child. That is huge and I honestly wish ALL parents could do this at LEAST once a year. I know it's pretty much impossible but still. Being able to raise a concern and have the Principal and every adult responsible for your child on a given school day...right there in front of you to discuss and talk with, is really something. They cannot hide from you, give you the run around...ignore you...foist you off etc. Not that all schools or school personnel do that...BUT..


So anyways it seems like our boy is doing about as well as he should be now. He is struggling with out of the box concepts in math and reading/writing...as to be expected with a person with Asperger's really. Speaking of that? I had in my head going in, asking for a re evaluation on him for that very thing. Right now his IEP is ONLY addressing issues with his ADHD, as he was found NOT to meet the criterion for a SCHOOL Asperger's dx last time in Kindergarten. I was wanting to re-visit that because I am seeing more of an effect of being Aspie as relates to schoolwork and such...


Turns out the wonderful Diagnostician at the school brought that up even BEFORE I had a chance! She was very frank in saying she see's more NOW than then...when he was younger and see's some of the social and academic deficits he has NOT narrowing in the way they would if he was just a "late bloomer", and so she herself suggested we try again for the dx of Asperger's. BUT, and here is where she differed from me...she wants to delay the re-assessment until next year as opposed to doing it now. 


Her reasoning was...sure right now he MIGHT pass because he DOES have some deficits...BUT if we wait a year, when he is in 3rd Grade and doing 3rd/4th grade work...those deficits will be MUCH easier to spot, harder to ignore and she WANTS him to get a "yes" this time from the Board because she thinks he can benefit from it and needs some services that would afford him. I had to think about it for a bit because my first instinct is to get him re-assessed NOW. But in the end the important thing is to GET THE DIAGNOSIS put onto his file because then it STAYS and goes with him as he moves along. If we try again, and get another "no"...well that wouldn't be so good. And bottom line right now he could not be picked out in his current class by much else from his poor writing as "special needs"...and therein is the worry about testing now. He is an average student doing average work, and struggling in some things the way other kids are.


So the decision was ours at that point and given how much his teacher is doing already and plans to maintain and ADD to this year, we agreed to wait. The assessment itself involves time out of the class and he is holding his own right now and we just don't want to mess with it or make him worry etc right now and throw that all off.


BTW his teacher is just in love with him, you could tell thru the whole thing. She talked about his little idiosyncrasies and such with such candor and amusement and tenderness that we could tell that. She is doing A LOT in the course of the day to make his experience in the classroom better, and she is using his resource time well. That made me much more comfortable waiting. One cannot stress enough the importance of a teacher willing to accept a difference and learn to work with it and most importantly not look on it as a dreaded, mandated duty or "ugh", but as something she wants to do to help a student she genuinely would like to see succeed. I am so grateful to her :)


I also am going to share that the work I did with my therapist was in force here too. I felt so different leading up to it. Butterflies and nerves but not that loin-girding...battle axe rattling momma Grizzly like RAWR facade over myself. It's hard to describe but before I did that work I felt almost like I put on a different person over the real me because the real me wasn't strong enough or assertive enough. Today I felt like it was just me...and momma bear was still there but she was behind me (just in case I needed her but it would be MY call to make), and we were working together. I hope that doesn't sound to nuts but if it does...consider the source. LMAO!


Anyways. I am happy with how things went, grateful to not be alone in this, my husband and family and my friends are all so helpful and supportive of us. I thank them each and every one!