So, its Monday. Not really any other..."oh gross its Monday." Monday's, either. It is the Monday after one of the WORST weekends my country has ever had. Children were brutally slain, by a young man...for unknown reasons. Young ones, their teachers, their Principal...their protectors in school. Slain for unknown reasons.
In the quest to FIND reasons in really what I feel is an utterly UNreasonable situation, America is dissecting the gunman. His family, his life, his conditions, his upbringing, his experiences. That is what we do. Some people make careers out of it...profilers I think they're called. The rest of us "amateurs" just want to understand, as tho IF we understood...it would change anything. Make us feel safer. Make this make "sense". Um, no.
Now, the "A" word is starting to make the rounds in the media, and likely as a result, at water coolers around the Nation this Monday of all Mondays. "Autism" "Asperger's"...the kid had it, didn't he? Some talking head said so, some law officer or DA or investigator or some "official" at the scene. The A word must be part of this puzzle...or indeed that one last piece that was hiding under the sofa cushion driving you insane because you cannot complete your picture without it.
I can hear it now, first probably just whispers "Well you know my friend has a nephew that has IT...and my friend said the kid is kinda, you know...quiet and strange." Maybe there's a nod and sidelong glance to see if anyone is dissenting or worried about the tone of the convo. If there isn't, it might get more interesting mightn't it? More JUICY. "Well I don't like to say it, but I heard a lot of kids with Autism are aggressive as hell. They'll slap you or punch you if you so much as make eye contact. That is why they don't look at you. That is how you can tell someone has it...I mean besides all the other weird stuff they do. Some of them are darned smart tho, and that makes them even scarier if you ask me." So it will go on and things will descend in a more and more sordid account of what the A word is, how people with IT, act and what their futures are likely to be.
Well, now! Ain't we a tolerant society, quick to embrace our fellow man...even if he is different. Um, No. No, we're not. I think the past elections made that ABUNDANTLY clear don't you? I think the already existent lines and walls and borders we have drawn around groups of people based on things like politics, religion, sex, gender, mental acuity, ability to "pass for normal"...makes that pretty evident. So, now people with Autism...anywhere along its vast and varied spectrum. are to be lumped in with a man who kills children. How...very "American" of us!
I have a son on the spectrum. He is 9 now. He was diagnosed with Asperger's and ADHD as a 1st Grader, outside diagnosis that we paid for when he kept having issues with impulse control and sitting still in class...and was receiving almost daily bad marks in his communicator as a result. It was a lengthy, tiring process that I won't go into here, tho it is detailed elsewhere in my blog. Needless to say the result was just as I wrote, I have a son on the Autism Spectrum.
He is in 3rd Grade now, having done 1st twice, and just this year his social and academic limitations have gotten him the official A word on his school treatment plan. That took time to get...they do not hand the A word out like candy on Halloween. For many reasons...one likely being that as we begin to see now, once it is "out" that you have the A word, boy are you hanging yer butt out there to be kicked. Not just by the system or your peers...but apparently by the media and the water-cooler and social media crowd as well. FUN!
I wanted to share my son with you guys...in pictures. Because I want you folks to understand that Autism is a Spectrum...and the children and teens and young adults on it, are as varied as snowflakes. No, they do not all have amazing genius hiding under strangeness. Some are just average, some well below. No, they do not all grunt instead of speaking or use fancy flowery language at age 5. No they do not all have no concept of humor or never smile. No, they do not all rock back and forth or scratch themselves or pull their own hair when stressed or to calm. They all have SOME things in common and just as many unique to them. Just like non spectrum people a room full of A word folks can have infinite combinations of personality traits, some exaggerated to the point of caricature, others so subtle you'd have to be TOLD they were there.
This is my son, on Monday...today. He is not wanting to get up for school.
Ah! I have managed to get him up, mostly. LOL! He always gets up, goes to the restroom, then brushes his teeth...while I lay out his clothes. Then he returns to dress and I put on his socks for him. We do it, just this way...every single morning. He likes routine...but so do a lot of us. ESPECIALLY, first thing in the morning.
See...we made it to the breakfast table! Here he is taking his Concerta before school. It helps him concentrate and control his need to constantly be in motion. He knows what they are, how they help, and as you can see...he is a morning person...once you get him out of bed! Some A Word people can, and do...smile and show happiness and be silly too....because they are all individuals. What do you take before work? Coffee? Aspirin? Xanax? ;)
This is my son waiting to leave for school. He is watching Youtube videos. Videos of a man who works at a car dealership and makes video tours of every car they get in stock. My son loves these and they are the only thing he watches on Youtube. Violence, even of a cartoon nature...scares him. Until he turned 8, his favorite shows were Dora and Diego and Spongebob. He still loves the sponge...but who doesn't? :) Yes, some A Word people have special interests they indulge in to decompress. They tend to talk a lot about them and have a hard time with subject change. But in our house special interest time is structured, limited and we encourage always...participation in family chats and activities.
This is my son at a street festival we go to every year. He remembers this statue and likes to sit next to him and mug and make faces for my camera...every year. Some A Word folks...have a decent grasp on humor and can alter their facial expressions to suit that grasp. My son likes jokes, even if the more subtle one's go over his head. He can tell when I laugh at something he does it means I am happy and he likes to see me, and others happy.
This is my son with a 3 week old puppy. We raised Beagles for several years here. His gentleness with the fragile puppies was admirable...considering, A Word or no...he is still a young boy. They taught him that ALL living things can feel, be hurt, and give and receive affection if it is properly given.
This is my son with HIS Beagle. He chose her himself...and they are very happy together. He feeds her every day as part of a chore list he is responsible for. He bestows love and affection on her, often...and whenever she is in trouble with me (as Beagles often are actually lol.) she runs to him to shelter her.
This is my son with his sister...on vacation in DC. He spent a 10 day stretch with us, a long road trip...daily adventures with tons of walking and novel sounds and experiences. He rode the Metro with aplomb and soaked in the atmosphere and sweltered in the heat. He went in to art galleries and museums and behaved properly. Some A Word folks, are more than capable of managing new scenarios and experiences without meltdowns and yelling or tantrums...IF their support team/family knows how to manage and present things. There is no reason for A Word folks to have to be isolated or not experience the same things any other person would...it just has to be presented differently, and the WORLD, needs to allow that.
This is my son, loving on me. Some A Word people are VERY capable of expressing unprompted affection. If they feel safe, if they feel it will be accepted. They experiment and test it out, to see that it is not scary...that it will not be pressed upon them or that they will be ordered to give it. Affection from A Word people is a true honor because it is never faked, for politeness sake, or merely out of habit. It is real and heartfelt and it means you are very special and safe for them.
This is my son, playing car with his Daddy. Some A Word people are very capable of some form of imaginary play. Especially centered around their special interests. Note the Frisbee wheel? lol...
This is my son, wearing feathers on Thanksgiving. He helped us do the crafts and enjoyed it. Some A Word folks...enjoy being part of a safe group and doing things together. He and his sister are very close and he plays with her and trusts her not to ask too much of him.
Don't mistake any of the above for an attempt to say my son is "normal". He is not...not that any outside person would accept as such. He hums, makes beeping car noises to himself. He wrings his hands and leans side to side. He darts glances or looks past your shoulder instead of into your eyes, he touches novel flooring and interrogates rather than has conversations. He doesn't give a rip about other children or people unless they come into his space and present themselves properly. He has no idea WHAT to say when unknown people ask him to play or his opinion...unless he is given a script to follow. He has Asperger's...he IS Asperger's. But, he is also a snowflake...different from likely anyone else on Earth...like we ALL are. He does not deserve to be mentioned in the same breath with a killer, or dissected by water cooler talk, he is what he is. A loved member of a dedicated family that bears ultimate responsibility for the man he will some day become...and we understand that. Just as I hope that EVERY parent out there, understands that. Thanks for reading...and please do feel free to share this post.
Well it was today! I had the usual butterflies going in. I know what to expect but still...going into this sort of meeting where you are not sure what's going to be said or etc can be a bit nerve wracking. My husband was able to come this time so that makes it that much easier. He's only missed one, and that was unavoidable.
For those unfamiliar, an ARD is an annual meeting REQUIRED by public schools for any child that has an IEP (basically a special learning plan designed for them due to some academic challenge or medical challenge). You go over the goals set last year, pick some for this year and next, and address any and all concerns over the child any side has. It is typically a parent, a diagnostician...any special ed teachers the child sees, the child's regular teacher, and Admin from the school. In our case, the Principal.
For all that they are a nervous time I also acknowledge that it is a pretty big deal to get to sit down once a year (or more if a parent calls for it) with all these people...in the same room, and discuss ONLY your child. That is huge and I honestly wish ALL parents could do this at LEAST once a year. I know it's pretty much impossible but still. Being able to raise a concern and have the Principal and every adult responsible for your child on a given school day...right there in front of you to discuss and talk with, is really something. They cannot hide from you, give you the run around...ignore you...foist you off etc. Not that all schools or school personnel do that...BUT..
So anyways it seems like our boy is doing about as well as he should be now. He is struggling with out of the box concepts in math and reading/writing...as to be expected with a person with Asperger's really. Speaking of that? I had in my head going in, asking for a re evaluation on him for that very thing. Right now his IEP is ONLY addressing issues with his ADHD, as he was found NOT to meet the criterion for a SCHOOL Asperger's dx last time in Kindergarten. I was wanting to re-visit that because I am seeing more of an effect of being Aspie as relates to schoolwork and such...
Turns out the wonderful Diagnostician at the school brought that up even BEFORE I had a chance! She was very frank in saying she see's more NOW than then...when he was younger and see's some of the social and academic deficits he has NOT narrowing in the way they would if he was just a "late bloomer", and so she herself suggested we try again for the dx of Asperger's. BUT, and here is where she differed from me...she wants to delay the re-assessment until next year as opposed to doing it now.
Her reasoning was...sure right now he MIGHT pass because he DOES have some deficits...BUT if we wait a year, when he is in 3rd Grade and doing 3rd/4th grade work...those deficits will be MUCH easier to spot, harder to ignore and she WANTS him to get a "yes" this time from the Board because she thinks he can benefit from it and needs some services that would afford him. I had to think about it for a bit because my first instinct is to get him re-assessed NOW. But in the end the important thing is to GET THE DIAGNOSIS put onto his file because then it STAYS and goes with him as he moves along. If we try again, and get another "no"...well that wouldn't be so good. And bottom line right now he could not be picked out in his current class by much else from his poor writing as "special needs"...and therein is the worry about testing now. He is an average student doing average work, and struggling in some things the way other kids are.
So the decision was ours at that point and given how much his teacher is doing already and plans to maintain and ADD to this year, we agreed to wait. The assessment itself involves time out of the class and he is holding his own right now and we just don't want to mess with it or make him worry etc right now and throw that all off.
BTW his teacher is just in love with him, you could tell thru the whole thing. She talked about his little idiosyncrasies and such with such candor and amusement and tenderness that we could tell that. She is doing A LOT in the course of the day to make his experience in the classroom better, and she is using his resource time well. That made me much more comfortable waiting. One cannot stress enough the importance of a teacher willing to accept a difference and learn to work with it and most importantly not look on it as a dreaded, mandated duty or "ugh", but as something she wants to do to help a student she genuinely would like to see succeed. I am so grateful to her :)
I also am going to share that the work I did with my therapist was in force here too. I felt so different leading up to it. Butterflies and nerves but not that loin-girding...battle axe rattling momma Grizzly like RAWR facade over myself. It's hard to describe but before I did that work I felt almost like I put on a different person over the real me because the real me wasn't strong enough or assertive enough. Today I felt like it was just me...and momma bear was still there but she was behind me (just in case I needed her but it would be MY call to make), and we were working together. I hope that doesn't sound to nuts but if it does...consider the source. LMAO!
Anyways. I am happy with how things went, grateful to not be alone in this, my husband and family and my friends are all so helpful and supportive of us. I thank them each and every one!
Christmas and New Year's passed remarkably well here at our place. I am making some headway in dealing with my "mommy issues" and so far we've had some successful attempts to spend time together without any drama. I am hopeful on that front. I did some work just after Christmas with my therapist that was tremendously helpful. Hoping to continue that later this month.
All the Christmas gear was stowed away within a couple days of the day passing. If I don't do it then it tends to linger on way past NYE lol!
On the kiddo front, Elias's ARD meeting is next week and I am just a BIT jumpy/antsy about it. I am really torn between wanting them to RE-evaluate him for Autism and what it would mean if they did and found he was. Right now his IEP is only addressing his ADHD issues and honestly I think his Aspie stuff is more what's holding him back this year, the retention...openness to new concepts...and fine motor is just not there. I am hoping that the meeting yields a consensus on these items so we can formulate a new plan for him. So that's been giving me a couple of sleepless nights. He is doing WELL, but is still IMO behind where he should be and right now he just doesn't seem like a "3rd Grader" even with several months left. Fingers crossed.
Lily and Eli both tho, went back to school yesterday and both had a good day. Eli claims he doesn't want to go but he is truly, happier within all the structure and routine vs kinda vegetating her at home. The school's short week, tho mystifying seems to be a good "getting back into the swing of things" approach.
We are headed up north this weekend to "do Christmas" so that should hopefully be nice. At least there's always booze! LOL.
Kindle Fire that is. After a mostly impatient wait...I have one. I am in the main pleased with it. Hard to find something else that costs $200 that is as happy making these days. I'll kinda give you my first impressions here.
I have had it for all of two days so...grain of salt yes?
First...out of the box impression? It's big...but also, small. It was big enough that I notice it because I typically have my iPhone attached to my hand. It is, obviously...bigger than my iPhone. It is also small. Smaller than my netbook...and my reading Kindle (an ancient but still awesome gen 1)...and of course, smaller than an iPad. I've never held an iPad...but this little Fire has a bit of heft. A solid feel vs a hefty one. Just enough that I knew I'd want a case almost immediately to give me a way to distribute that heft a bit and balance it. It was nice in feel...sleek and nothing portruding or glaringly ugly. The rubberized stuff on the back imprinted with KINDLE, is pretty snazzy. The glass display looked shiny and sleek too.
I found the wee button and pressed it and she awoke. I admit to being extremely giddy at this point. I plugged in the AC and d/l the software update that was present. The Fire came with no instructions really aside from plug her in and turn her on, and honestly? If you are used to either Apple products or Kindles you don't really need a "book" here...just your brain and your fingers! She woke up completely after the post d/l restart and we were ready to rock n roll.
After connecting her to the house wi-fi (no 3g here folks, so hotspots and house wi-fi are your choices unless you want to buy something else)...I poked around the home screen and found the on board manual, which I mainly ignored in favor of self guided exploration. I am SUCH a maverick! I figured out most of it inside an hour...but the web experience took longer.
The web browser...is different. I will say that. But it is FAST...faster than my netbook by a BIG margin. The cloud seems to indeed, hasten things up online. The keyboard is rather a interesting conundrum. It's big enough where thumbs are not gonna cut it. It's small enough that two hands are probably too much. I have been hunt n pecking a lot, and I've yet to find a truly comfortable way to use it. I have a feeling this will take some run in time on my part.
The movie streaming experience on Netflix at least was smooth. The more devices in your home using it at the same time tho, the crappier the picture. This is not a Kindle issue, but a bandwith issue. Once we had just the Kindle running a movie...it was sharp, clear, and beautiful. I have no quibble with the display...it's lovely. The sound on high...is not very loud...BUT, most of us use headphones of some type when listening to music or watching streaming content online I think? It's hardly a medium for crowds to gather around and share. But for what it is...the sound is nice.
Reading...what's it like to read on a FIRE? Depend on where you are, and what you're reading. I knew going in that a backlit display was NOT my preference for long term reads. Articles, comics, magazines etc? GREAT experience. Most format nicely and the page turning is seamless. Books? I will always prefer e-ink for that. There is a rather hardcore glare on the screen in ANY type of outdoor setting. I would wager this is par for the course using anything with glass up front. I am going to look into anti glare coatings/coverings. If there are none out now...there will be soon almost for sure.
Oh! Battery life seems pretty darned good too...especially considering it uses wi-fi and the amount of streaming content we've had going. 7-8 hours straight takes it down quite a bit...BUT...that's MUCH better than my iPhone gets truth be told!
Gaming? Angry Birds and similar games run smooth and look fabulous. There is every now and again a bit of a brainfart on where your finger is. the touch response is not like iPhone...BUT I believe iPhone has the most sophisticated and above everyone else kind of finger sensitivity. I am used to such quick tapping that often my Fire doesn't even know I was there LOL! I have to get used to leaving my finger there perhaps a 1/4 second longer. I loaded up and played my kids Animal Jam flash based game just fine. The screen size can be an issue...bit to narrow lengthwise in landscape, and in portrait too. But the game played fine, not quite the way it does on the puter with the mouse....but MUCH improved of the painfully slow grinding progress of the netbook.
In short...if you will or will not like the Fire will depend VASTLY on what you are buying it to replace. Your reading Kindle? Your computer? Your super fast lightning quick 3g use anywhere laptop? Nah, probably wouldn't bother. There are better options. It's not going to replace your camera or phone obviously because it IS none of those. But if you, like me...bought a netbook when those were so "in' for gaming, checking email and websites from where ever you are at home or at a hotspot, watching streaming content on a bigger screen than your phone while not occupying the home TV set? then the Fire is probably a great buy at $199. the app store was a lot more fleshed out, than I thought it would be too...and hopefully Amazon will see to it that it continues to grow.
Kids, also...will love this. It is just enough tablet to sate their iPad frenzy...but it is cheap enough that you can give them one and not wince every time they shake it or halfway sorta drop it. Kids apps and books are amazing looking and there are lots of interactive storybooks on offer for FREE in the app store...others that cost a very little. I have had VERY little time with my Fire owing to my kids simply being fascinated with it. especially it's capacity for streaming content...it's like a tiny TV they can carry off to where ever they want to watch.
I am sure I've left stuff out...I always do when I try to organize my brain in ANY form or fashion ;) Feel free to drop a comment if you have a specific question and I'll do my best to give you my honest opinion! Love all! Kindle on!
So it's that time of year, time to make a decision on where Elias will land next year. I know they are going to pass him out of 1st Grade but not 100% sure that will be okay with us.
Hubs and I have had many discussions on Eli and his status next year. We almost are ready to send him along to 2nd grade but the fact that his IEP and extra help plan ONLY got enacted about 2 months ago is holding us back.
He is making some real progress filling those gaps that were glaringly apparent when we all discussed the goals for his IEP...but I think about how much MORE they could have closed if only it'd been a FULL YEAR under the plan and I pause to consider. I think it would benefit him...and if we send him along it seems like tho his IEP would still be there, he'd now have the gaps remaining from THIS year...and adding IN the ones still to come because the cirriculum builds upon itself.
Lily's year has been all about that TAKS test and she looks ready to ace that thing...but I honestlly cannot see Eli being as comfortable or ready if we send him on now.
I called the Counselor today and she said she'd discuss it with She Who, and his Special Ed teachers to get their thoughts...and they'd call me back to discuss it. It's completely up to us but I would like to hear what they have to say since they know him from a "school" point of view likely more than I do.
Just want to get this right, make sure we give him every chance. I know retaining him now in 1st will carry a lot less stigma than him getting held due to that TAKS test in 3rd...where the kids are much older and quite a bit crueler from what Lily tells me. He relates better to younger kids anyways...and he will ONLY be turning 7 come August just before the 2nd Grade year starts...so he'd hardly be older if at all, than the kids entering 1st.
I think at this point, the best thing would be to give him that extra year NOW...as opposed to regretting not doing it. He will NOT be happy because he is already talking about 2nd Grade...not sure how I will handle that part of things, but I guess we will deal when it happens.
IN OTHER NEWS! My dearest husband dropped the news today that the Browns have a game in New Orleans right on our ANNIVERSARY WEEKEND! I mean how big a coinky-dink is that?? We must go...you simply do not ignore things like that LOL. I know they'll get CREAMED but it will still be fun...I am really looking forward to the trip. It was hard to pick between Las Vegas and Nawlins but I am really excited about headed to the Big Easy now.
The kittens are growing too fast! But that's how babies are..*sigh*
Enjoy your Wednesday, all!
Hey all. Not much to report since the last blog BUT I did want to share something about Lily,
She is headed out to the Texas Rangers game tonight with a little girl from school. This is BIG news for her because it's the first time she's done something with a friends "sans parental units". So needless to say she is very excited and nervous too I think.
I admit I am worried...I have such a hard time allowing space for them sometimes. Remnants of some pretty serious trust issues. I can count on one hand...the number of people I trust with my kids. Something to work on...cautiously LOL!
I am spending today presentifying the house so they won't be assaulted by dog hair when they walk in LMAO, 'tis the season. Or by cat stink...yeah we got that too thanks to Flopsy and crew! But all will be well. I've met the gal's pop before at a school function and he seemed very nice...if a bit conservative.
Let's hope Lily keeps the bare chest comments to herself tonight folks! (she's been noticing boys and men without shirts and clucking her tongue or saying PUT ON A SHIRT...SHEESH!). I had a talk with her about not everyone being as silly as we are as a family and trying her best to respect their rules and still enjoy herself at the game.
I need to get outside and blow out this DOG of mine, no sense vacuuming like I did if she is still dropping it like it's hot! Have a GREAT Friday all. Busy weekend so I mighn't see you's til Monday!
yep...somebodies watching me.
You put your dog outside to do their business...stretch their legs...get some mental stimulation beyond watching you move from room to room from a prone position on the tile...
Suddenly as you make your coffee you feel that itch...you know that itch? *no not THAT one you sicko, besides the medication cleared that all up*, and you KNOW someone is watching you.
Creepy. Who can it be?...you look around...almost expecting someone to be behind you...
Nope. No such excitement. It's just the above mentioned DOG sitting someplace in the yard when they can STARE at you thru the windows. In a snit...you slam down the blinds and move out of there to another room...maybe the dining room where you can Facebook in peace...
*chhchcchcch* that itch AGAIN....you whip your head around like an owl on crack...and yes yes THERE...again...from behind a frickin TREE, the dog...AGAIN. Staring at you.
WHY DOES THIS HOUSE HAVE SO MANY WINDOWS!!
It's scary because you didn't even hear the tags jingle that time as the dog moved from peeping place to peeping place, almost like they did it ON PURPOSE to be sneaky. You slam down the blinds again...and then go on a mad blind slamming spree thruout the entire house.
Chest heaving you finally finally are ALONE...
at least that's what you THINK...until you feel it again...and, insanity now not just lurking but pounding on the door to your brain, you see right in the notched out hole in the blinds, where one's end has snapped off thanks to one of the cat's efforts....a brown eye...unblinking, piercing thru you.
*AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH*
The End.
